Why is change such a long and frustrating process?

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2 Kings 20:1 “…Set thine house in order.”

Many people who are in recovery programs like AA, Alanon or Celeberate Recovery have a “sponsor.” That sponsor has usually walked a similar path and can encourage them, hold them accountable and help them grow in the process of recovery. And make no mistake about it. Recovery is a process.

A friend who is in one of those recovery programs recently told me her “sponsor” told her she only needed to change one thing about herself. Encouraged, my friend asked what it was, and her sponsor answered, “Everything.” While I understand the intent, I have to say, “Good luck with that!” because changing “everything” is quite a challenge, isn’t it?

We might start out in January with the best intentions about “setting our house in order.” However, making even the smallest change isn’t easy. And when you decide to do a serious “make-over,” you might just be setting yourself up for failure. But wait a minute! You’re the one who said you (and we) needed to “set our house in order.” How can that happen without massive change?

You’re right in that “setting our house in order” requires change. However, the same Bible that says, “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation” (2 Cor 5:17) tells us to “desire the sincere milk of the word so we can grow” (1 Pet 2:2). If change is going to happen, it will take spiritual growth, and growth doesn’t occur by waving a wand and saying “Abracadabra!”

Have you made a list of the 372.5 things you want to change about yourself intending to have those changes effective and complete immediately? I’ll say it again: “Good luck with that.” Effective change is gradual, focused, and specific to you, and the most effective changes require planning and hard work.

But doesn’t God make the changes? Indeed, He does. However, those changes are like growing a garden rather than winning a lottery. You plant, you water, you give that garden fertilizer as food, and God causes the garden to grow. You can’t make a seed sprout or cause a plant to bear fruit. But you do the work in faith, and God gives the increase.

Like that garden, spiritual growth takes time. I’ve heard it said we must do the same thing in the same way for 13 days in a row before it begins to be a new behavior pattern. I have a problem in the morning if my coffee cup isn’t in the usual place. How in the world can I manage those 372.5 changes at the same time? The answer, of course, is that I can’t. And neither can you.

A better plan is to choose one or two things you want to change about yourself and commit to doing them differently for two weeks. The first thing might be to spend some time in private prayer. Asking God to show you what He wants you to change and asking Him to make you willing is a good start. Remember it’s a process, so be gentle with yourself in that process. And before you know it, you’ll have a real beginning on “setting your house in order.”

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, set reasonable goals instead of setting ourselves up for failure?