How should I respond when someone hurts me? #StopPlayingPingPong #WordsOfGrace

Today's Precious Prodigal Post is at = http://bit.ly/1AfWKBB How should I respond when someone hurts me? Please "Like" us and "Share" this post with your Facebook fr

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Do you remember listening to your kids bicker when they were younger? I sure do. It seemed like they could argue about anything, and they did…until I was ready to tear my hair out. When I finally had enough, I didn’t want to hear excuses, and I really didn’t care who had started it. I can’t count the times I quoted Ephesians 4:29 and asked how their words were supposed to edify their sister or brother.

They really knew which buttons to push, and I had to wonder at the unkind things they said to one another. I still wonder at the things people say to one another. And when someone is acting out or relationships are broken, their words and sometimes our own can go off the chart for being cruel, can’t they?

I thought of that this week when someone verbally and viciously attacked me, even going so far as to say it was my fault my kids had acted out. It isn’t easy to practice restraint when we’re attacked, and it wasn’t easy for me. My first inclination is to go for the jugular, and I’m a writer so words could easily be my weapon of choice.

According to our text verse, however, that isn’t an option that’s open to me. While I’ve heard people say that “corrupt communication” means profanity, that’s not what the verse suggests. It goes a lot further than that, admonishing us to use words that edify or lift one another up. And it’s impossible to lift someone up at the same time I’m tearing them down.

But, but…he started it. He was vicious and purposely used words intended to hurt. Doesn’t he deserve to get paid back in kind? Perhaps. But that verse also says our words should “minister grace” to those who hear them. And “grace” means free, unmerited, undeserved favor or kindness, so striking back because they struck first can’t be justified.

Maybe he did deserve a “payback,” but it wasn’t my place to give it to him. Oh, I wanted to, so don’t give me credit where I don’t deserve it. I even knew which words would blast my attacker out of the water. The problem was that pesky little Ephesians 4:29. And if that verse isn’t enough, there’s also 1 Peter 3:9 that tells me I’m not to “return evil for evil or insult for insult.”

Please don’t hear me saying you have to put up with abusive behavior. I’m not saying that at all. If someone can’t treat us with courtesy and respect, we need to set some limits. And if those limits can’t be respected, we might need to put some distance between them and us. However, detaching with love doesn’t mean we get to beat them up while we’re doing it.

I know how much it hurts to be attacked, and I know our natural reaction when we’re hurt is to strike back. But being “natural” doesn’t mean it’s right. You and I don’t have the power to make anyone love us, stay with us, be kind to us. But we do have a choice about whether the battle of words continues. They can “ping” to their heart’s content. If we don’t “pong,” the game is over. And even in our sorrow, knowing we made the right choice can give us back our joy.

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, stopped the war by refusing to strike back?