Are my expectations stealing my joy?

Here's our Precious Prodigal post for September 2, 2014: Are my expectations stealing my joy? #brokenpeople #letitgo Please "Share" using this "ShortLink" = http://bit.ly/1lwirKC

Romans 7:18 "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing..."

Expectations, someone has said, are the seeds of disappointment. Others have said our expectations are only resentments under construction. And they’re right. But don’t we have the right to expect certain things from our families, our friends, our church? Yes and no.

All of us come to adulthood with an internal system of values. Some of those values are from our family of origin, and they are adopted, adapted, or even rejected based on our childhood. Some of our values come from our own life experiences. It may even be that our view of life is based on what we believe about the Bible, about Christ, and about living for the Lord.

Those of us who love a prodigal aren’t usually worried about houses, cars, or a cruise to the Bahamas. I know that as well as any other broken-hearted mother. But surely it’s reasonable to expect some basic things from our family, our friends, our church family…and yes, even our prodigal. Isn’t it?

There’s nothing wrong with any of that in and of itself. However, if we expect those things to give us joy, it becomes a problem. None of them can give us lasting joy, and it’s totally unfair to expect them to.

Expectations without communication and agreement are going to disappoint us every time. So if we have an expectation that involves another person, we need to involve that person in discussing it. Keep in mind that discussions are not dictates…they involve more than one person talking. Then those expectations need to be expressed rather than assumed and negotiated and agreed to rather than demanded.

Even then, we’re going to be disappointed if we count on people to meet our expectations. Romans 3:12 says none of us do what’s good, and Psalm 103 says God knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. People are broken inside…some more than others. But all of us are broken, and that includes you and me. And Christians aren’t exempt. The apostle Paul says it best in Romans when he tells us that, “in me dwelleth no good thing.” (Rom 7:8)

What can you expect from broken people? You can expect broken promises, disappointments, unfair treatment, and even neglect. You can expect them to act just like what they are…broken. That means the best of them are going to sometimes forget your birthday, neglect to call or visit, be insensitive to your feelings, and disappoint you.

May I be blunt here? Sometimes what we need more than we need “better” kids, friends, family, and churches is a big, healthy dose of “get over yourself!” If we want flowers, we can buy or pick or grow flowers rather than sulking because someone didn’t buy them for us.

Then if someone gives us flowers or praise, a phone call or some of their time, maybe we will see it for the miraculous gift that it is…something precious from a broken person. Even better than that, we will be able to stop letting our expectations steal our joy.

Challenge for Today: What might happen if we, just for today, let go of our expectations?