What can I do if someone doesn't like me?

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John 15:18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.”

We were faithful members of the same church and were both being used by God. We even had some of the same friends and enjoyed some of the same activities. But for reasons I may never understand, she just didn’t like me.

I’d like to tell you I’m bigger and better than this, but I’m always a little hurt when someone doesn’t like me, and my tendency is to “not like” them back. And without exception, I begin to look at what I might have said or done because I’m sure it must be about me.

So I can identify with Samuel who was “displeased” and went to the Lord in prayer because the people had rejected him and demanded a king. God told Samuel to do what the people asked because it wasn’t Samuel they had rejected. It was God. (1 Sam 8:6-7)

I’m not saying that every time a person doesn’t like you they are rejecting God. What I am saying is that when a person seems to be or even really is rejecting you, it isn’t always about you. Matter of fact, it might have nothing to do with you at all.

All of us come into adulthood with a variety of experiences and a whole bucket load of issues. We’ve been hurt, disillusioned, and perhaps even abandoned, rejected or abused. We’ve failed at things that were important to us, and we’ve seen others achieve what we had hoped to achieve ourselves.

When you combine that with the fact that all of us are broken inside, inherently sinful and selfish, it’s no surprise that we sometimes don’t like people or they don’t like us. (Rom 3:12) And once we trust Christ, the struggle between the old and the new man continues because “to will” is present with us. (Rom 7:18)

Although we’re told to both sorrow and rejoice with others, it’s a whole lot easier to “weep with those who weep” than it is to “rejoice with those who rejoice…” at least for most people. Christians and even pastors aren’t exempt from some “ecumenical envy” either. And indeed, why would that Christian writer, soul winner or pastor be happy to see someone else seeming to be blessed with what they have agonized in prayer about?

Again, I’m not saying envy is the reason someone doesn’t like you or me. I’m only reminding you and myself about the nature of people and saying that we can’t always know why they don’t like us. Nor do we need to. Jesus reminded his followers that if the world hated Him, they would hate us as well.

I know Jesus was talking about people hating the Christ in us. But it’s also true that the world hated Christ, who was without sin. So why would we be surprised that people dislike or even hate the sinful people that we are?

If we have harmed someone, we need to make it right. That’s so important that if our brother really has something against us, we’re to leave our “gift” before the altar and be reconciled with our brother before we offer a gift to God.  (Matt 5:23-24)

But that doesn’t mean we need to turn into “people pleasers.” If we’re sure we’ve done nothing to purposely hurt someone, and that person has a problem with us, we need to let it be his or her problem. And expecting that everyone is going to like us is one of the things we need to lay aside.

Challenge for Today: Can you, just for today, accept that some people aren’t going to like you whatever you do? Can you let it go?