What’s wrong with wanting to know what my prodigal is doing?

Here's our new Precious Prodigal post for July 10, 2014: What’s wrong with wanting to know what my prodigal is doing? Please "Share" this post using this "ShortLink" = http://bit.ly/1xYP4Tm

Proverbs 27:1 “Boast not thyself of tomorrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.”

Many people, including myself, have a tendency to be hyper-vigilant. We seem to have an extra dose of intuition that tells us when something is going on, and we can usually smell a lie five miles off. And if we weren’t already hyper-vigilant when our prodigal began to act out, we soon became that way.

Then many of us took it to a new level by needing to dig until we have all the facts. Some of my kids used to say, "She’s in her Nancy Drew mode." That worked well for me, less well for them, when they were young and I really did need to know what they were up to.

We might not need to do that today, but that doesn’t stop us from wanting to know what’s going on in their lives. And it goes off the chart if they’re acting out, doesn’t it? It doesn’t stop just because the kids are grown. What’s wrong with wanting to know?

Let’s look at those kids you and I needed to keep track of years ago. Fast forward to the present. There they are doing destructive things, making wrong choices, and breaking our hearts again. Ok…so it’s happening, but why do we need the details? Why do we need to “prove” what they’re doing?

That compulsion is unhealthy, and it’s one of the reasons I know the families of prodigals are as sick as the prodigals themselves. Some parents of adult children are still hacking into their email or Facebook, still reading their text messages and committing a felony by opening their mail. I’ve even heard parents say they know what their prodigal is thinking. How silly is that? “For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?” (1 Cor 2:11)

But it’s not just my kids I worry about or feel the need to know about. I’m an equal opportunity worrier when it comes to what “might happen” tomorrow, and I can become almost compulsive with planning. Again, what’s the problem with wanting to know or planning like a responsible adult?

While there’s nothing wrong with planning, that planning can become a problem if we write our plans in ink. For one thing, we don’t know what’s going to happen because we aren’t the ones who hold tomorrow. (James 4:14)

For another, no matter how much we plan, “…the LORD directs [our] steps.” (Prov 16:9) So when we “know” the results of that lab work or we “know” the details of what our prodigal is up to, or we “know” whether we got the job, that only gives us an illusion of control. We’re not really in control at all. God is.

Not only are we not in control, but also we are sometimes better off not knowing. Some things are the “secret things of God” and are just not our business. (Deut 29:29) He knows what lies in darkness, and that should be enough for us. And maybe that information, that proof, that thing you’re digging after is something God is trying to protect you from. Perhaps as Jesus told His disciples, you "cannot bear [it] now." (John 16:12)

There are plenty of things this world throws at us and many wounds our prodigals inflict. However, this compulsive “need to know” isn’t one of them. It’s something we are doing to ourselves, and it’s one of the things we need to lay aside.

Challenge for Today: Can you, just for today, let go of your “need to know” and rest in the fact that God is in control?