Are the words I say about others harsh or judgmental?

June 23, 2014: Are the words I say about others harsh or judgmental? Please "Share" this new Precious Prodigal Post: http://bit.ly/1ipPxKI

Eph 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Those of us who love a prodigal have a tough path to walk, but we’re not the only ones. Life isn’t easy, is it? Everyone has a tough path at least part of the time so it makes sense to let go of some things that make that path even harder. One of those things would be our tendency to judge others.

There are several problems with our judging others, not the least of which is that Christ tells us we are not to do it. (Matt 7:1) He goes even further and tells us we’ll be judged with the same measuring stick we use to judge others. Ouch.

Now wait a minute! Doesn’t Matthew 7:20 tell us we’ll “know them by their fruits?” It does indeed. And John 13:35 says people will know we are Christians by our love. That warning about fruits is telling us to use discernment so we will recognize false teachers…those who would purposely lead us astray.

While it can also be applied to those who say they know the Lord when their lives don’t show any fruit, it’s still not our job to criticize or judge them. It’s our job to love and pray for them. It’s God’s job to change them.

One of the reasons we are so harshly critical of others is that it makes us feel better about ourselves. If I’m busy looking at what you need to fix in your life, it doesn’t leave me a lot of time to look at what’s broken in my own. And often what’s broken in my life is exactly what I see in yours. In AA and Alanon, they put it bluntly, “If you spot it, you’ve got it.”

In his book The Cost of Discipline, Dietrich Bonhoeffer says, “By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.” And make no mistake about it…even the best of us are inherently evil. Our hearts are “deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.” (Jer 17:9)

Our text verse tells us our words should edify or lift up and “minister grace to the hearers.” If I’m talking to you about what I see in your life and my words aren’t seasoned with love and kindness, it’s  “corrupt communication.”  If my words are harsh and cruel, they certainly aren’t lifting you up.

I’m not saying we should ignore or tolerate unacceptable behavior. We shouldn’t. But expressing our hurt with cruel, vicious words isn’t the answer either. I can’t expect mercy when I hurt you and exact justice when you hurt me. It just doesn’t work that way.

And if I’m criticizing you to others or “sharing” the details of your life with someone else so they can “pray effectively,” being judgmental isn’t the only problem I have. Not part of the problem or part of the solution? Then I don’t need the details and if I think I know the details, I certainly don’t need to tell others about them. It’s not my story to tell. If I’m really worried about someone, I need to go to the One who can do something about it, and that One isn’t another person.

Challenge for Today: Can you, just for today, take a look at what you say to and about people? Can you ask God to set a guard on your lips?