Five Finger Recovery: What's the bottom line about friends and family?

June 10, 2014: Five Finger Recovery: What's the bottom line about friends and family? Please "Share" this new Precious Prodigal Post: http://bit.ly/1xDGNVF

Proverbs 18:24b "…there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."

No matter how good a friend is or how healthy the friendship, the simple truth is that a friend or even several friends can’t always be there for us. That doesn’t make them bad friends; it only makes them human. There is only one friend who can be there all the time, can care all the time, can listen to us all the time, and can help us carry our burdens all the time. That friend is Jesus…the friend who really does “stick closer than a brother.”

When I was growing up, it was my sister rather than a brother who followed me everywhere. Dianne wanted to go everywhere I went and do everything I did. I was a tomboy and very athletic…she was not. But she wanted to climb trees because I did. The one and only time she skipped school was in early elementary. Why? She wanted to go to school with me instead. And she did! There were days I couldn’t take one step forward or backward without tripping over her, and I couldn’t get away from her no matter how hard I tried.

That’s how close God is to us. When we are asleep, He’s there. When we are awake, He’s there. When we’re rejoicing, He rejoices with us. When our hearts are broken and there seems to be no end to our tears…Oh, He is there! He sees every tear, and He records them “in His book.” (Psalm 56:8) He understands us and shares our pain as no one else can do. He fashioned our hearts, and He understands everything we do, even when we don’t understand it ourselves. (Psalm 33:15)

I know all that, of course, and so do you. I even know that people can’t be those things to me…at least I know that most of the time. But I don’t always remember that when my heart is overwhelmed. That’s when I begin to have expectations about people in general and friends and family in particular. That’s also when I’m headed for trouble.

Regardless of the burdens we’re carrying, we can’t use our friends. Healthy people don’t use people. Period. Healthy people use things and love people, not the other way around. That means our friends aren’t objects to be used. They are gifts to be cherished. That’s true about family as well. However strained the relationship might be, that sister, brother, parent, or child is a gift from God…and every gift from God is a good gift.

I’m convinced the main reason we are disappointed in our friends and family is that we’re expecting them to give us something they just aren’t capable of giving. Am I telling myself that if they’re not as consumed by my pain as I am, they’re not concerned at all? If I am, that is so unfair.

Our friends have their own lives and their own burdens. So I sometimes need to remind myself that only God can be God. To expect that kind of support from another person is to set myself up for disappointment. And it’s foolish to look for answers or hope from anyone except from the One who can be all things to me.

Challenge for today: Can you, just for today, take your burdens to the “Friend who sticks closer than a brother” and let your friends and family just be who they are?