Five Finger Recovery How important are my friendships when I love a prodigal?

May 29, 2014: Five Finger Recovery How important are my friendships when I love a prodigal? Please "Share" this new Precious Prodigal Post: http://bit.ly/1rkjBep

Eccl 4:9 “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow...”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature,” and he’s right. Friends and family are so important, in fact, that they come only after God, our recovery and taking care of ourselves in our priorities. And they are never more important than when we’re hurting.

Nothing will test a friendship like having a prodigal. One of the main reasons for that is that loving a prodigal can be a very lonely thing. We can feel like “misfits” in our church and community where every family seems to have it together. Notice I said “seems” to have it together. We can’t tell what a home is like by looking through the only window the family opens for us.

I’m familiar with the embarrassment and shame that goes along with the pain of loving a prodigal, and so are you. The temptation is to isolate, to stay at home and “lick our wounds,” and I understand if that’s what you want to do. However, that’s just the time we need support the most. And having a good friend can make a huge difference. So what do healthy friends and friendships look like?

The first thing that comes to mind is that a good friend shows up in the hard times as well as the good times. When Job’s three friends heard about the terrible things that had happened to him, they went to mourn with Job and to comfort him. They may not have been the best of comforters. In fact, Job at one point calls them “miserable comforters,” and they were. (Job 16:2) But at least they showed up. And a real friend will do that or will at least try to do that.

Not everyone is willing or able to “suit up and show up” when we’re struggling, and it’s hard to accept that without hurt or bitterness. It helps to remember that friends enter our lives for a variety of purposes. Some people come into our lives for a reason, and when that reason is accomplished, the friendship ends. Some come into our lives for a season and when that season is over, so is the friendship.

Remembering that God brings those people into our lives for His purpose and our good will make the parting easier. And it will make the final kind of friend more precious. He or she is the kind of friend who comes into our lives for a lifetime. If you have one lifetime friend, you are blessed. If you have more than one, you are rich beyond measure.

The best way to have a friend, of course, is to be a friend. Over the next few days, we’ll look at the qualities of a good friend and try to find our part in that process. That’s not easy to do, and even lifetime friendships can suffer when our lives are in turmoil. Finding the balance between reaching out for help and trying to help ourselves can be a challenge. However, in looking at our part and finding that balance, we will surely see that “two are better than one.”

Challenge for Today: Can you, just for today, begin to look at your friendships? Can you, without bitterness, let go of the ones who left?