Five Finger Recovery: Why can’t my family be more understanding and forgiving about our prodigal?

May 28, 2014: Five Finger Recovery: Why can’t my family be more understanding and forgiving about our prodigal? Please "SHARE" this new Precious Prodigal Post: http://bit.ly/1he6582

Proverbs 31:27 “[A virtuous woman] looketh well to the ways of her household…”

You probably already know the Luke 15 parable of the Prodigal. Like me, you may have thought that older brother was unforgiving, selfish, and unreasonable. But I wonder whether that’s totally fair. I can understand the father’s joy at his prodigal’s return. I really can, and you probably can too. But I can also understand the elder son’s resentment.

Here was the elder son out in the fields doing what he was supposed to be doing, serving and submitting himself to his father while the prodigal was in the far country. He had probably served his father faithfully for years. Then the prodigal came home, and Dad threw a party and restored him to the family. No problem except that the older brother wasn’t even invited to the homecoming party! Dad was so focused on the prodigal, first as lost, then as found, that there was no room for the elder son…you know, the one who had been doing the right thing all along.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t pray for the return of our prodigal or grieve his loss. We should, and we must. Nor am I saying we shouldn’t rejoice when he comes home to repent and is restored to the family. However, in that praying, in that grieving and even in that rejoicing, we need to reserve some of the love and appreciation for the son who stayed home. If we don’t, we shouldn’t be surprised if there’s resentment.

I understand the prodigal seems to be more needy than the rest of our family, and we are facing a huge task with our limited energy and emotional resources. I’m right there with you. But if I’m not careful, I sometimes find that I’m so focused on my prodigal that I forget that the others in my family are hurting too. We aren’t the only ones…our whole family is suffering.

Job and his wife are great examples of that. Job had lost everything, and his wife told him he should, “…curse God and die.” (Job 2:10) She wasn’t the best comforter ever, but this woman had lost everything too…including every one of her children. And where was Job? He was sitting in the ashes scratching his sores with a piece of pottery! (Job 2:8) It’s true she wasn’t very supportive, but Job wasn’t exactly embracing her and telling her it was going to work out for the best.

It isn’t just the prodigal who needs us. The other family members need to know they are loved, valued, cherished. And they need to hear it from our lips. They need to see it in our actions and priorities. They don’t need to be compared to the prodigal or hear that their decisions are better. They just need to know they are treasured and appreciated for the precious gifts they are. We won’t do it perfectly because we are the walking wounded ourselves. But we can make a conscious effort to reach out to our family and let them know they are important to us as well.

Challenge for Today: Can you, just for today, let your family know you love each and every one of them? Can you do it without even mentioning your prodigal?