Am I the kind
of person who holds a grudge?
Micah 6:8 “…what doth the Lord require of
thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy…”
1 Cor 13:5 “[Love]…is not
irritable or resentful.” (NEV)
Although I’m
usually a cheerful, optimistic person, I recently had a major case of the
McGrumps that lasted several days. I was so irritable that I was trying
everyone’s patience…even that of my husband Harry, who is the most patient person
I know. Good gracious! Even my cat was about ready to put her adoption
application in at the animal shelter. I’d like to say I didn’t know what was
causing it. However, along with that (usually) sunny disposition, I also have
an incredibly good and sometime selective memory. And that was part of the
problem.
Someone I love had
hurt and disappointed me, and not for the first time. I was furious at first,
and then the heat of that anger went on simmer and developed into a resentful
heart. While that works great to make spaghetti sauce sweet and rich, it didn’t
work as well with my disposition. I was sour, discontented, and bitter...not to
mention grouchy. If you love a prodigal, you probably know exactly what I mean.
I couldn’t seem to
stop thinking about it. And the more I thought about it, the more I remembered
the multiple times this person had hurt and disappointed me in the past. I may
have started with the hurt from that day. However, it didn’t take long before I
was remembering the hurt from last month, last year and, finally, to some
things that happened as far back as 25 years ago. The more I thought about it,
the worse I felt; and the worse I felt, the more I thought about it. I couldn’t
seem to break the cycle, and I was miserable.
When I was finally
tired enough of feeling awful, I talked to a no-nonsense friend, who helped me
to see and to own my part. Wait a minute! I wasn’t the one who had caused that
hurt. That’s absolutely true, but I am the one who was suffering. I was also
the only one who could do anything about it, and I absolutely did need to do
something about it. Not only was I miserable, but I also wasn’t “loving mercy,”
which is what God requires of me.
Loving mercy means
I won’t let the things people do cause me to be irritable or resentful. (1 Cor
13:5) But that word resentful isn’t as clear as it could be. A more literal
translation from the Greek is that love “does not count up wrongdoing.” Ouch.
Could it be that I’ve been counting up the hurts for 25 years and stubbornly
refusing to give them up and stop keeping score? No wonder I was miserable…no
wonder you are.
If every time our
prodigals do something that hurts us, we begin to rehash every other thing they
ever did going back 25 years, we shouldn’t be surprised if we develop a case of
the McGrumps. The answer, of course, is to ask God to take it and then to “Let.
It. Go.” Easier said than done? Yes, indeed. But it's possible, or God would
not have required it.
Challenge for
Today: Are you nursing resentment? Can you, just for today, ask God to help you
let it go?
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