Soulmates

Soulmates

A Story by Pravir
"

A love story set in heaven

"
"Please drive slowly na , i am getting scared idiot" said Priya to Archit who was riding the bike. "Oye darpok . . . next time dont come with me" taunted archit.
Both were childhood friends. Priya was going to be engaged with his love of life Siddharth next week. Their love story began in college and four years of relationship with no fights and no tears set an example of perfect relationship.
Contrary to this, the relation of archit and priya was just like tom and jerry. Both were tolerating each other from primary school, there was no such day when they didnt fight. Times passed and they grew up but whenever they met each other, a series of quarrels,arguments took place. But the best part was that it didnt had any effect on their friendship.
Finally all the shopping was done and they were returning back to home which was a bit in the interior regions of shimla .. . due to the rain, the road had become slippery.
"Archit, if you dont slow down i will surely jump out of the bike " priya was really getting scared as it was going to be dark soon and archit was speeding much.. .
"Relax nothing will happen. . its my normal speed ,cant help " chuckled archit and wanted to scare her more.
Soon the rain got more heavier and archit lost control , the bike's handle started trembling . As they were riding in a narrow path ,there was no chance of balancing and the bike fell in the deep ditch beside the road. . . their screams got lost in the valley which was sixty feets under. . . .
"Priya are you all right . . . can you hear me .. . please open your eyes na. . . please" screamed archit by holding priya tightly in his arms. . he was also severly injured . . . for the last half an hour he was trying his best to somehow make priya concious . . . costantly blaiming himself ,regreting for the accident and wiping off his non stop tears.
"Hey just say me idiot once more na. . .yes i am idiot,you shouldn't have come with me. . i am the worst guy in this world but for the last tym open your eyes . . . for the last time forgive me" archit burst into tears and hugged her more tightly.
He was losing hope now and there was no sign of life deep there in the valley . . . . . it was a full moon night. The sound coming from a nearby river filled the quiet valley. Suddenly a voice came which filled the valley with hope,joy and delightment. . . " next time drive slowly idiot". . . it was her voice. Archit kissed her forehead and gave her water to drink. He was repeatedly apologizing for his stupid act. . . priya made him comfrtable and said that it was just an accident . both checked their cellphones but there was no network. . it was also raining heavily so they decided to spend rest of the night beneath a tree . . . Archit took out his coat and covered priya as she was fully wet and shivering with cold. . soon they felt asleep.
Next morning archit opened his eyes and was astonished to see the scenery of the valley. It was fully covered with beautiful folwers surrounded with colourfull butterflies. . . few metres away there was a waterfall falling in the river whose water was clear and as pure as nectar.. . . archit was left spellbound by the nature's beauty.. . he woke up priya and showed him the magic of nature . .
"Wow, so beautifull . . . but where are we. .?? Check your phone's GPS and find out the location na" said priya while catching a butterfly. . .
Archit checked out his phone,still there was no network. Meanwhile they noticed that their wounds were fully cured by the night ,there was no sign of any injury.. . . Few days passed and they were still lost in the valley. . they followed the river so that it may lead to somewhere but it seemed that the river was going to infinity. . . . . .
"Archit,something has happened to us na. Why are we not feeling hungry . we have not eaeten anything from that day neither had a single drop of water" priya was fully confused and terrified
"May be we are in the world of magic. . . . its so much peace here. . . everything seems so mysterious " said archit
"Please dont joke . . We will never be able to go home na. . what will happen now??"
Priya was in tears now. . .
"Do you really want to return . . . i dont" Archit whispered to himself. . . he always wanted to spend each and every bit of his life with his love PRIYA.
But he thought sidhhart was the best match for him and overall both loved each other, so there was no point in mentioning it and spoiling their pure friendship.
It was getting dark so they decided to spent rest of the night there only. . . priya soon felt asleep. . her calming presence made archit slowly close his eyes and his body quietly switched off . . .
Suddenly they were startled by a big roar. . . their bodies froze . . a tiger was staring at them . . there was no time to run away now. . . the tiger came running and was about to pounce on them. . .
Archit closed his eyes and hugged priya tightly and whispered in her ears "so its our destiny. . . I ALWAYS LOVED YOU DEAR. . . "
He opened his eyes after a while. Priya was just looking at him with tears in her eyes.
"Stupid , i LOVE YOU TOO . . not from today not from yesterday. . i loved you from the day when i knew the word love for the first time. . . . "
Actually archit was dreaming, there was no tiger. . . .
Archit came into his senses . his face filled with confusion,nervousnes and lot of questions for priya
"Then why did you never said me. .. Why are you marrying sidhharth . . "
Priya took a deep breath and started
"Look your family has done many favours for me. . treating an orphan as a family member and giving all the rights of my life back. . . now how could i deserve more grace for my life. . . i loved you but never
Knew about your feelings . .. I could not hurt you anyhow . i buried this feeling deep inside my heart . . then i met sidhharth , he loved me madly and is really the mr.perfect but i dont fight with him . . i dont argue with him. . . i dont call him 'stupid' . . . you know why . . . because i LIKE him but i LOVE you idiot"
Priya and archit were family friends but a car accident took away priya's parents and since then archit's family was looking after her. . .
Archit slapped her softly and said " you know what . . . i am feeling guilty that we failed to give you freedom of expressing yourself"
" no dear . . . i understand now . i just had not enough guts to express myself after that incident . . i am sorry my love . ."
Archit smiled and they both hugged each other. . . they decide to spend their rest of life in that magical valley only as there was no hope of returning home and moreover they always dreamt of living such a life togethar.
Back there in shimla, the day after the accident the news headlines read " last night an accident took place . a motorbike fell in the deep ditch besides tughlaq road. The rescue team found a motobike and two dead bodies. Both the bodies have been identified by their family members. Their names are Archit mishra and priya sharma.may their souls rest in peace."
Archit and priya died that night only . . . it was their incomplete souls which united in heaven. . .

© 2017 Pravir


Author's Note

Pravir
Ignore grammer. . . plz review on the plot and share your feelings after reading this

My Review

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Reviews

This is a well-told story. It's not easy to cross over the line of reality, as you did in two places (once-dreaming, twice-afterlife), & then having the whole story feel like it flows together. But these switches from the present to the dream & then to afterlife, it all feels cohesive. Your story could be an analogy . . . where the afterlife is how we live in our imaginations, wanting things to be different in life, but we live different lives in the flesh rather than the lives we really want.

Now here are a couple suggestions for improvement. I like the way your opening starts with dialogue, but then you take off on a long paragraph of backstory before you get back to the conversation at hand. You don't have to change this story, but in general, I prefer to put a little bit of backstory into each tagline for some dialogue, slowly revealing what's the story between the two people talking -- RATHER than providing all the backstory in one paragraph, which totally interrupts the conversation. At the beginning of a story, you have to capture the reader's attention & this is best done using action or dialogue . . . description usually is less compelling, so it's not as strong to start a story with a bunch of description or backstory.

Another suggestion . . . no matter how perfect a relationship may be, there are always ups & downs. It makes your story feel like a fantasy when you use extremes like perfection or always fighting to characterize these relationships. Those ideas are flat & one-dimensional. It sounds like a fairy tale to me. Realistic writing shows us how all relationships & friendships have ups & downs. I believe you are trying to contrast these two relationships that Priya has -- one being perfect & the other always fighting. But this is too simplistic to be believable. Always try to show your characters as having more than one dimension -- this is how tension is created in a story, when things are unpredictable & changing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Pravir

7 Years Ago

Thanx margie for your really valuable suggestions. . . now i am going to ponder upon your every ad.. read more
barleygirl

7 Years Ago

I appreciate that you're so receptive to some ideas to make your future writing even stronger! *smil.. read more
Brilliant work...I really enjoyed it....the end shocked me....
this was really so so so good, Pravir...Keep it up, friend....waiting for next story...

Posted 7 Years Ago


Priyanshi

7 Years Ago

My pleasure, Pravir...go on for writing...best wishes with u.
Pravir

7 Years Ago

Thanq again dear . . .
Priyanshi

7 Years Ago

You're welcome, friend.
Ohh,......Wowow....Yeah it is a wow, you created a charm here.....end didn't expected that they were dead...But it's beautiful my friend....I honestly loved it....:)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Pravir

7 Years Ago

Thanx for that lovely review . . . . m really satisfied now that my work finally impressed you . . t.. read more
Surya

7 Years Ago

You're always welcome my friend..:)
Whoa....the ending....I didn't imagine that. At times it was hard to digest the story then I am satisfied with the end....Amazing....

Posted 7 Years Ago


Najam Us Saher

7 Years Ago

Even I am not perfect in English...Infact no one is perfect we do make some or the other errors....y.. read more
Pravir

7 Years Ago

Sahi pakre hai . . . lekin mera thora jyada hi khrab hai . . . . but i have a very high intent of im.. read more
Najam Us Saher

7 Years Ago

Friends are always around to help.... ☺

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Added on May 31, 2017
Last Updated on June 2, 2017

Author

Pravir
Pravir

asansol, west bengal, India



About
i am 22. .,. an electrical engineer.. i know writing has nothing to do with my profession... but still i write,not to become famous ... its just that i find solace in expressing my untold emotions an.. more..

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