Soulmates

A love story set in heaven

"Please drive slowly na , i am getting scared idiot" said Priya to Archit who was riding the bike. "Oye darpok . . . next time dont come with me" taunted archit.
Both were childhood friends. Priya was going to be engaged with his love of life Siddharth next week. Their love story began in college and four years of relationship with no fights and no tears set an example of perfect relationship.
Contrary to this, the relation of archit and priya was just like tom and jerry. Both were tolerating each other from primary school, there was no such day when they didnt fight. Times passed and they grew up but whenever they met each other, a series of quarrels,arguments took place. But the best part was that it didnt had any effect on their friendship.
Finally all the shopping was done and they were returning back to home which was a bit in the interior regions of shimla .. . due to the rain, the road had become slippery.
"Archit, if you dont slow down i will surely jump out of the bike " priya was really getting scared as it was going to be dark soon and archit was speeding much.. .
"Relax nothing will happen. . its my normal speed ,cant help " chuckled archit and wanted to scare her more.
Soon the rain got more heavier and archit lost control , the bike's handle started trembling . As they were riding in a narrow path ,there was no chance of balancing and the bike fell in the deep ditch beside the road. . . their screams got lost in the valley which was sixty feets under. . . .
"Priya are you all right . . . can you hear me .. . please open your eyes na. . . please" screamed archit by holding priya tightly in his arms. . he was also severly injured . . . for the last half an hour he was trying his best to somehow make priya concious . . . costantly blaiming himself ,regreting for the accident and wiping off his non stop tears.
"Hey just say me idiot once more na. . .yes i am idiot,you shouldn't have come with me. . i am the worst guy in this world but for the last tym open your eyes . . . for the last time forgive me" archit burst into tears and hugged her more tightly.
He was losing hope now and there was no sign of life deep there in the valley . . . . . it was a full moon night. The sound coming from a nearby river filled the quiet valley. Suddenly a voice came which filled the valley with hope,joy and delightment. . . " next time drive slowly idiot". . . it was her voice. Archit kissed her forehead and gave her water to drink. He was repeatedly apologizing for his stupid act. . . priya made him comfrtable and said that it was just an accident . both checked their cellphones but there was no network. . it was also raining heavily so they decided to spend rest of the night beneath a tree . . . Archit took out his coat and covered priya as she was fully wet and shivering with cold. . soon they felt asleep.
Next morning archit opened his eyes and was astonished to see the scenery of the valley. It was fully covered with beautiful folwers surrounded with colourfull butterflies. . . few metres away there was a waterfall falling in the river whose water was clear and as pure as nectar.. . . archit was left spellbound by the nature's beauty.. . he woke up priya and showed him the magic of nature . .
"Wow, so beautifull . . . but where are we. .?? Check your phone's GPS and find out the location na" said priya while catching a butterfly. . .
Archit checked out his phone,still there was no network. Meanwhile they noticed that their wounds were fully cured by the night ,there was no sign of any injury.. . . Few days passed and they were still lost in the valley. . they followed the river so that it may lead to somewhere but it seemed that the river was going to infinity. . . . . .
"Archit,something has happened to us na. Why are we not feeling hungry . we have not eaeten anything from that day neither had a single drop of water" priya was fully confused and terrified
"May be we are in the world of magic. . . . its so much peace here. . . everything seems so mysterious " said archit
"Please dont joke . . We will never be able to go home na. . what will happen now??"
Priya was in tears now. . .
"Do you really want to return . . . i dont" Archit whispered to himself. . . he always wanted to spend each and every bit of his life with his love PRIYA.
But he thought sidhhart was the best match for him and overall both loved each other, so there was no point in mentioning it and spoiling their pure friendship.
It was getting dark so they decided to spent rest of the night there only. . . priya soon felt asleep. . her calming presence made archit slowly close his eyes and his body quietly switched off . . .
Suddenly they were startled by a big roar. . . their bodies froze . . a tiger was staring at them . . there was no time to run away now. . . the tiger came running and was about to pounce on them. . .
Archit closed his eyes and hugged priya tightly and whispered in her ears "so its our destiny. . . I ALWAYS LOVED YOU DEAR. . . "
He opened his eyes after a while. Priya was just looking at him with tears in her eyes.
"Stupid , i LOVE YOU TOO . . not from today not from yesterday. . i loved you from the day when i knew the word love for the first time. . . . "
Actually archit was dreaming, there was no tiger. . . .
Archit came into his senses . his face filled with confusion,nervousnes and lot of questions for priya
"Then why did you never said me. .. Why are you marrying sidhharth . . "
Priya took a deep breath and started
"Look your family has done many favours for me. . treating an orphan as a family member and giving all the rights of my life back. . . now how could i deserve more grace for my life. . . i loved you but never
Knew about your feelings . .. I could not hurt you anyhow . i buried this feeling deep inside my heart . . then i met sidhharth , he loved me madly and is really the mr.perfect but i dont fight with him . . i dont argue with him. . . i dont call him 'stupid' . . . you know why . . . because i LIKE him but i LOVE you idiot"
Priya and archit were family friends but a car accident took away priya's parents and since then archit's family was looking after her. . .
Archit slapped her softly and said " you know what . . . i am feeling guilty that we failed to give you freedom of expressing yourself"
" no dear . . . i understand now . i just had not enough guts to express myself after that incident . . i am sorry my love . ."
Archit smiled and they both hugged each other. . . they decide to spend their rest of life in that magical valley only as there was no hope of returning home and moreover they always dreamt of living such a life togethar.
Back there in shimla, the day after the accident the news headlines read " last night an accident took place . a motorbike fell in the deep ditch besides tughlaq road. The rescue team found a motobike and two dead bodies. Both the bodies have been identified by their family members. Their names are Archit mishra and priya sharma.may their souls rest in peace."
Archit and priya died that night only . . . it was their incomplete souls which united in heaven. . .

Author's Note

Ignore grammer. . . plz review on the plot and share your feelings after reading this

Reviews

[Sakshi]

So touching story and quite an appealing one!!No doubt you presented your ending very sweetly!!Specially,the way you use "NA" really damn cute!!

[Pravir]

Thankuuu for visiting and i am glad that you liked it . .

[Wowvi]

Ignoring the missing points, gotta great plot. Exposer is wow! And of course the story of many dies unexpressingly. Your story depicts great lesson of expressing the feeling. You never know which moment gonna be last! :)

[Pravir]

Thanx for your beautifull review . . . and yes you said that very correctly . . . thanx for visting

[Rimpi Saikia]

It kept me engaged till the very end. The feeling of mystery was felt all over the piece. Keep up the good work!

[Pravir]

Thanks a lot for your visit . . i am glad you liked it

[Misty]

An extra ordinary thought presented in here. I appreciate the way your thinking got its pace and touched the reader. In writing, there are certain important things. First one is the thinking. What type ur thinking goes. Next, your flow at writing... and another is feel in the words and sentences....
Apart from grammar, this story touched me to an extent that i couldn't divert my eyes off it.
Very good going. Keep it up..
It has been a while since I haven't posted my writings. Just a matter of time, good luck... keep writing!

[Pravir]

Wow . . . these words mean a lot for me . . . you people are solely responsible for motivating me and inspiring me to write more and more . . . thanx a lot for ur visit

[Misty]

it's a pleasure dear...
stay motivated!

[Zoya]

This is a sweet story. Despite some errors here and there, I loved the content of the story...and the ending was well-thought too. Keep writing!

[Pravir]

Thanq zoe. . . and yes i will try to minimize those errors from next tym. . . thanx a lot for your kind visit

[Zoya]

You're welcome

[pragya gaur]

Though I am not interested in live stories but enjoyed reading it....perfect one ....go for more

[Pravir]

I think its "love" instead of "live" .. . anyways thanx for your visit . . . may be someday you get intrested in love stories and then my page will still be welcoming you for your kind words. . . hehe. . . thanx fo the visit

[Anjali]

The plot and story is really good, but there are a lot of grammatical mistakes, I know you said that ignore grammatical mistakes, but still just letting you know. By the way, there's nothing wrong with the storyline and the love that you showed above is really beautiful! Just keep writing!

[JayG]

• "Please drive slowly na , i am getting scared idiot" said Priya to Archit who was riding the bike.

Look at this through the eyes of a reader who has just arrived, with no idea of the background, the setting, or the character. How will they react?

When you say, "riding THE bike, we have not a shred of context. Is this person holding onto a car? A motorcycle? A truck or army tank? Each of them would bring a different picture and feel to the story, so it matters a great deal, as does their speed, the road's condition, and more.

You know, of course, so this works for you, because it calls up the picture stored in your mind. But for me, it calls up the picture stored in YOUR mind.

See the problem? Your understanding makes it work, while the reader is saying, "Huh?"

The primary problem is contained in your statement, " plz review on the plot..." You're thinking in terms of a story being the flow of events and conversation. And that the plot is what holds the reader's. interest. It's not. Plot is only meaningful in retrospect. What keeps the reader turning pages is that the writing—not the sequence of events—entertains. Make the reader care about the protagonist, and want them to succeed in solving their problems. Only when they care will they continue reading.

What you're clearly doing is recording the words you would use to tell this story in person, as a storyteller.

And in service to that, you stop the action to talk to the reader and explain the character's history. But the reader doesn't care.

Think about it. You begin the story, then stop the action, leaving the characters standing there tapping a foot in frustration, while, as yourself, you explain what happened before the story began. Simply put, if it matters all that much why don't you begin there?

My point is that story happens, it's not talked about. And it happens in the moment the protagonist calls, "now." More than that, it happens in real-time, just like our own lives. How can a summation, an overview, seem real? How can you, the storyteller appear on stage and begin talking without your characters asking who you are and seem real?

My point is that you can't tell a story on the page in the voice of the narrator. If your character speaks you tell me that she or he has anger, or happiness in their voice. You tell me what their expression is. You tell me how they feel, so I know the tone to read the words in. But...you-cannot-tell-me-how-YOU-speak. So your words have only the emotion the punctuation suggests—mostly dispassionate.

When you read, the voice you hear in your head is the one you would use in telling it aloud. So the words are filled with life. But verbal storytelling is a performance art. HOW you tell it matters as much as what you say. Can your reader hear the emotion in your voice? No. Can they know when you would whisper and shout. Again no. Remember, they don't know what a given line will say till AFTER they read it. And then it's too late to add inflection. And of course they can't see your performance, either.

See the problem? It's not a matter of good/bad writing. It's not talent, either. It's that because no one tells us that writing fiction has its own set of writing skills, skills that aren't taught in our school days, we try to use the nonfiction skills we're taught—and that can't work for fiction because the goal is to entertain, not inform—and verbal storytelling skills can't work for reasons I just mentioned.

So there you are. All that work, all that warm feeling of accomplishment, and I hit you over the head with a club. ;) I know how that feels because I've been there. But the good news is that the problem is one of craft, the learned part of our profession, which you can learn as easily (or as much difficulty, I suppose) as the tricks you presently own.

The bad is that you're not going to be a rich and famous writer this year.

But the solution is simple enough (though not easy, I'm afraid). Just add that missing craft and practice it into perfection to train your talent and give it the tools to work with.

The not easy part is that new skills take time to perfect. But that's true of any profession, so it's not unexpected (well, it always is, given that our teachers, who learned to write in the same classrooms didn't mention what they didn't know. But we really should have wondered why it it seemed not to be needed for only this profession while all others require study and training).

And in the learning, my personal suggestion is to look at Dwight Swain's, Techniques of the Selling Writer. It's the best I've found at making you understand the basics, the nuts-and-bolts issues of constructing a scene and sewing them together.

Swain is the one who made me understand that POV is a LOT more then the personal pronouns you choose. And whatever small measure of success I've managed to achieve is because of him.

For a kind of Swain lite, you might dig around in the writing articles in my blog. They're based on his views. There are also a few stories there, ranging from sci-fi to romance to give you a feel for how the techniques look in a story.

And here's another piece of good news. If you are truly meant to be a writer, the learning will be like going backstage at the theater. And the writing will be more fun, too.

So hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

[Pravir]

Thanq for all your suggestions . . . actually i have just started to write and have very poor skills .. . but my intent of improving is very strong . . . it may take years to improve but i will definetly try to give my best because i hve such supportive guides like you . . . will surely check your blogs because i neither no the basics nor have strong vocab . . . but i m working on it . . without any training i am really lost in the path of becoming a good writer . . thanx again and keep highlighting my errors

[Abhishek Asthana]

i really loved the way you brought unimaginable twist in the end... somewhere i suspected after the accident part but as an audience, yes i engaged with your story... it has got a dual message... one is social and the another one is emotional...
very well done pravir... great job !! :)

[Pravir]

Thnxx a lot asthaana saab for ur kind visit . . . very much satisfied that it connected you preety well. . . . thanx again and one more request . . as i m an amateur writer so plz do highlight my weAk parts alsoo. . . . will be very greatfull . . anyways thnx again

[Abhishek Asthana]

there is always a scope of improvement for any writer,,, and it is applicable on all of us.., i am glad to see your zealous attitude... you want to learn every time... you want to self-assess and that will serve you a way of development... keep it up :)

[Pravir]

Thnkkss a lot bro. . . keep visiting

[Maria]

Loved how in spite of it all, they still have a chance of meeting and being together beyond death. Beautifully written.

[Pravir]

Thanq maria for ur kind words . . . thanx again for stopping by