waiting

"Will u both keep quiet for a while " mom came screaming on us finally frustrated by me and my best friend angela's high pitched laughter and shoutings . . . we were childhood buddies . . . she was my neighbour,my classmate,my father's best friend's daughter and my best buddy . . .
Well this was the daily scenerio of my home . . . we both enjoyed each others company and totally forgot the world till my mom made us remember dt if we didnt stop now then it may result in red cheeks . . one day angela said me when we were in class two "when u will get married to your dream girl than who will play with me" and i said "i will take u wid myself dear wherever i go" . . actually that time we both didnt knew what marriage is . .
She was the most gorgeous girl of our school. But i never felt anything cute or gorgeous about her. . maybe because i never judged her . . well days and years passed . . our friendshp became more deeper and there was no day that we didnt meet up . . . we did our engineering in the same college . . i was brighter in studies and she was intersted in everthing like singing dancing drama . . just not in studies . . i used to teach her sometimes . . and always loved to see her innocent face after not being able to solve a sum. . may b that was the first tym there was a surge in my heart and i felt each and ever beats . .
After our b.tech completion i somehow managed to get a job and as angela was not interested in furthur studies . . his family decided to hook her up wid a boy whom she would call her as husband and his wealth her password to unlock happiness . .angela did resist but in vain because she also knew inside deep that she had no choices left. .
Soon her marriage was arranged wid a software engineer having a very wealthy family
Meanwhile me and angela did not meet for several months as i was busy with my new job and she with her wedding plans . . . but deep inside we missed each other. . . but not im the same way . . i missed her as if i have left my soul to her and nothing is left inside me . . .but she didnot had that "love" feeling for me . she was more practical than me . . so she accepted the things got married . . i got the news about her marriage but i didnt turn up on her wedding . . . i had not much strength to control my feelings in front of her . . so i kept this one sided love as secret
Today i still miss her and may be sometime somewhere somehow we may meet up i want a last laugh wid her only. . my love i still wait for you

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love it when a person from a different culture writes a story that helps us understand the humanity beneath the cultural norms. We in the USA know about arranged marriages, but it's abstract, almost unfathomable to some of us. Your story shows how these things go & what emotional adjustments must be made to follow your customs rather than your heart. I loved that you expressed your sense of loss with feeling, yet you also showed us how it is necessary to accept the inevitable. Good details to show how your two lives were parallel, but then went different ways.

Many younger people use "slang" & "abbreviations" when texting & messaging, which is fine. But for a formally written & posted piece of writing, I believe it's better to use correct English & not the short cuts like "u" and "may b" . . . it makes your writing feel choppy & informal to me.

[Pravir]

Yes . . actually its my first write . . . i neither have good grammer nor skills. . . jst have a great motivation to improve day by day and b perfect . . . and using shrtcut is the verdict of overuse of facebook and chatting . . i will surely take into care next tym . . and a great thanx to u for taking out your precious time and review this friend

[Abhishek Asthana]

oh my god !! i got it, i didn't read it as a simple story... i just got involved in this piece in a way that i was going through your past... that's your first write i guess and you have chosen to write about her only...your immense love can be seen here...sometime we realized those elements of love very late... but its not too late for you...you have a golden heart and there should be someone special who might be waiting for you...

All the best

[Sumit]

Nice job. I like the way you present your story.

[Manasa.L]

A very heart touching story. Still waiting for the girl, perhaps he shouldn't. Its better to continue their friendship. Don't you think she would want to have her best friend back and if she gets to know of this probably she might feel bad that she could not understand his feelings for her.

Still a very good writing except for those grammatical errors. You have significantly improved in your other writings as I have seen.
Keep the good work continuing.

[Pravir]

Yes i totally agree with . . . in this type of situation one always suffers. . . . one sided love is like this only. . . and girls like angela doesnot have any option , so they accept life in whatever way it comes. . . . anyways am also writing the sequel of this story in which u will come to know what happens to their compromised lives. . . .
Thanks a lot for ur kind words . . m working on my grammer . . jst keep on reviewing like this only with ur honest words . . thnx fo ur visit

[Manasa.L]

You are welcome

[Najam Us Saher]

It's a heart touching story. I really want to know whether 'I' in this story is really you.

[Pravir]

haha......... feelings,emotions and the characters are only inspired from a true story.... thanxx a lot for your kind visit dear :-)

[Najam Us Saher]

There were emotions of true story. I felt it....

[rukmini chaudhary]

its idea, feeling and the motivation beneath the work that should complement your work.that is positive and seems true in your story. one statement of your story should complement the other but they contradict.for example you said she dont have the feeling same feeling of love then again you said she is arranged to get merrid to a wealthy person and to her his husbands money is a key to unlock happiness she didnot loved him...neither she loved her bestfreind.here i see two different contradicting situation are mixed.i think you have to work on this.you have to be very sure about what you want to deliver what you want to say through your story.
good luck.
go ahead...:)

[Pravir]

here i have not sketched the love feeling of angela. . . its the discussion of only one sided feelings. Angela didnt wanted to marry to an unkwon person whom she never knew , , she wanted something more from her lyf. . but wasnt allowed due to her parents, dts it . . . hope u get this right now........ thnx for ur kind words ,,.. will try to work on ur advice..

[horizon]

When we are in love there is no space for last meet or last talk or last touch...the more we meet the more we love...love is like our personal drug it makes you soo much wanting for it you can't stay away and can't go near..nicely written..

[Pravir]

very well explained. . . but my story is about one-sided love. . . so I have used "last laugh". . . coz they will never meet each other. . . anyways thanks a lot for ur review. . . u xplained love much more better than me. . . keep motivating like this only. .

[Johnny Dep]

Simple and honest it was a beautiful write, and there are mistakes in spelling and grammar usage, by writes you will get up with them..
Keep on Sharing such beautiful ones.

[Pravir]

thank brother. . .. . M not having guy grip on the Grammer. . . . but I m learning day by day and will definitely improve. . . . . keep reading and highlighting my errors. . . . thanks a lot bro

[Johnny Dep]

Hehe, we are here to help brother, Go on with the same positive way one day you will be unfaced.

[Pravir]

Yess. . . for sure. . . (hugs from india) :-)

[Johnny Dep]

Haha, Thanks Man.

[Johnny Dep]

((hugs)) from johnny.

[Manisha]

wow, I'm impressed! You have all the elements of a great story, plot, drama and creativity! Keep penning, you have a way with words and ideas!

[Pravir]

Thanx a lot manisha for ur kind words . . . it means a lot for me . . . i get great motivation by such reviews . . . n plz highlights my flaws also so that i can improve

[D Connolly]

This is a sad story! I'm not familiar with arranged marriages because it is not a custom in my culture, but I can imagine how sad it would be for a person to watch the one they love marry another, and I definitely know how it feels to not have my affections returned. Good short story. There are some punctuation errors such as double periods that don't work for me in a story; I think playing with punctuation is more of a poetry thing and it confuses me when it's done in a story. There are some simple spelling mistakes, probably from using a second language, however I didn't think that they took away from the story, as I was able to understand the point made in the sentence. Good job!

[Pravir]

Thanx a lot for your suggestion . . i will definetly look in improving it. . . and yes here in india arriange marriages are very common. . . haha