Sleepless Night

Its a small expression of a boy who is missing her love.. They had a breakup and he is in uncomfort. He has brought his pain into words.

Its 12.30 am. I know you are asleep at the moment but still I m waiting for your message.. I don't know why am i doing so.. Checking my phone again and again with a false hope that yes u will msg me saying "Shona.. ". But i know it will not come.. Strange na.. I know the reality but still my heart doesn't accept.. What is this? Is this a disorder or this is something else. Don't know. Actually don't wanna know. Whatever, it gives me happiness nd keep me alive. Since evening had decided that i will cook complete food,. I did so.. But don't feel like eating.. Food seems tasty but i don't relish.. ☹ Don't know wat I am searching for.. Have I forgotten to add salt or something has eaten salt from it.. Not sure. Confused.. Actually not.. I am mad may be.. Life is so uncertain.. Few hours back i was smiling nd blushing nd now seems to I m mourning something. I try to get u. I thought i m aware but now not sure.. Tired but no sleep.. Dreaming, fantasy r now my mates but currently have fallen asleep too.. Excited that u came in life but where is life now.. Yet to be answered.. U might be awake now.. Good morning.. Don't understand what's d f... K is good.. My goodness has been stolen.. Theft, robbed.. Waiting for someone to tell me where to file complaint. No answer... Silence... Smile captured in pics is hidden somewhere.. Want to sleep but where sleep is.. Don't know... Want to run away somewhere but where... All alone.. Not interesting.. Feets r just frozen... Life, everyday new challenge. Question that every situation asks me r u happy..?? I say i m awesome but little pain.. Me Confused, me lost.. My hands waiting for her.. Heart dreaming to smooch.. But no one here.. All silence nd dark... Hoping for a quarrel free morning full of love... Waiting for a hand to hold me,.. My life, let go... I cannot... I may.. Gud mrng...

Its 2.30 am now.. The peak time of sleep and dreams.. You might be laughing or surely beating someone by now... Of course in dream.. I m struggling for sleep.. Why?? What's wrong?? Don't know. Its not too hot as well.. But something is uncomforting.. What is it? Finding.. No Go... May be i didn't say you good night properly.. Or I love you may be... Strange na.. Everyday I say the same thing.. Its not new. But still missed, I think.. Regretting, Upsetting... Why didn't i say it on time..? What is pinching me.? Why i can't sleep..? She knows that I love her.. Then why the feeling that I missed it.. Confused, obsessed.. Nothing to do, nothing to watch.. Videos over, no song to delight.. No images unseen.. All jumbled and juggled multiple times. Yet no peace... Two water bottles are over, yet thirsty.. Not for water but something else. What? No answer.. It sounds finicky yet real.. Still searching what is it.. I think I miss u.. Yes I do... Awaiting dawn, most awaited first time.. But why? It asked. No answer to give.. Still.. Its same... Lets see.. U sleep tight.. Lucky pillow.. Jealous me... Happy sleeping 😘😘😘

Its now 4.30am... Early morning... Can't say good morning.. For sure not for me. What to do now.. I was waiting for this only. Not exciting again. No one to wish me this morning. U made me addicted for a good morning. Now nowhere. Don't get that sense of goodness with anything. Really? You were so important.. I am surprised today. Weather is cool. Birds are chirping. But for me its silence. Silence of pain separation.. Actually I know now.. Its ur absence. Grieving, hurting and regretting ". What to say? Its of no use. I lost my chance. Today i am free. But no one to listen. To talk.. Loneliness all around.. You were my morning alarm.. I don't need any alarm today, because i don't know what sleep is ?? Waiting, praying for u is all I do. I wish for all your happiness and success. Yes! I do.. Why? Don't no. U r not even aware.. Still doesn't make any difference. U r precious and will always be. My Gem, my life.. I realized now I am just living but with you I was alive. Full of life. Where is it? Don't know.. Actually I know, but I escape. What's the use? Now its all in vain.. I smile remembering the way you used to make your hairs.. And i used to open them.. Your face, smile.. All incredible.. But its lost.. I never said but i admired you.. You are my princess, dream girl. All buried in heart.. I wish i could have told u.. I love you.. Actually I am crazy for you.. The best thing ever happened to me. Yes it's You... ☺ You complete me. You gave meaning to my life. But now life? What's life.. Don't know.. Yet finding. Why am I saying all this.. Its over.. All over.. Again a similar night ended.. Full of discomfort, pain and yes wait... Long never ending wait. Wait for my love. Wait for you. Its my night, Actually my Sleepless Night.

© 2017 Pranjal Bajpai

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Abhishek Asthana

It's like that I have witnessed the situation of character as a viewer...the way you penned it down is not so easy for any debutant...you have properly defined how scary would be the moment wherein one mate would be bound to feel separated....on a whole, you did a good job bro...Keep writing :)