I Don’t Wanna Fall in Love with You!!

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because you are someone who will haunt me till my last breath if things don’t work out between us. You will become my sad poetry, my reason to listen to the songs that will crush the already affected heart. My what if’s that will tear me piece by piece, with every lived memory in my mind I wish I could undo but cannot, because they are the ones that will heal me too.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because you have already taught me that I always come second to the people who love me, and I have only you to love and be loved. I can’t hold on to the pain if you leave me as I would have cared and loved you too much for me to let you go.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because you will take every chance to make my life better and you will do everything in your vigour to keep it shining like a brittle star.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because the joy I find in exploring the new places and the satisfaction of experiencing the adventures of life with you, is something beyond imagination and I cannot look at the world same way ever again in your absence.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because being with you I will learn how to identify people who matter and who is real, the people who would be with me through my thick and thin, the people who see through my every emotion, every thought. And if you leave me I will end up being with the people who don’t see the pain in my smile, even if they spend all their time in the world with me. I wouldn’t be able to comprehend the things I will do or think, as the shadow of pain you left me in, dwarfs everything happening around me.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because I don’t think I can ever love you as hard as you will, the love that has no bounds whatsoever, the love that has no end. And I don’t know if I can ever handle the light you spread on me, that would strip me off of every negative thought in its inception. I don’t want that light to ever fade away from shining on me, and I definitely can’t cope with the darkness in your absence.

The moment you walk out of my life, there will be nothing but a million questions in my mind, every time I look at my reflection I will ask myself the same million questions that will push me into the rabbit hole I can never escape from. But even in that whirlpool of emotions, there will be a joy to my soul that someone like you walked into my life and left a light that will never see the face of darkness.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because you will sight my silliest of moments, my tiniest emotional journeys, my vulnerabilities, and if anything seems wrong to you, you will assume you are the reason for the changes happening with me. Not just the happy ones, but you will blame yourself for the not-so-happy-ones too, to no fault of yours.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because you refuse to believe you are the special person I describe you to be, you don’t think you are that perfect girl I wanna love even more. Even if the world reckons it as your simplicity and modesty, there are certain things that make you special even though you don't wanna be called so.

I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because if you do not let me look at your weaknesses, there is no point of us being together and being called soulmates if we can’t handle each other’s vulnerabilities with pride. Although I am glad to have met the strongest girl in the whole world, a girl who is her own best friend, a girl who is a fan of self-love, the girl who uplifts others’ strengths and carries their burdens when they are falling apart. I still fear knowing that there is a hidden side behind that strong suit of yours, who is afraid of getting hurt ever again, who Is afraid to face the reality that there can be someone she can count on without being hurt, someone who will always be wondering how to handle your dark phases, which I know will be very few, but being that someone I don’t like standing helplessly around the person who is my inspiration in everything.

Lastly, I don’t wanna fall in love with you, because I know you will be the finest parent for our kids in every possible aspect and I know they will love you the same way I love you, maybe more and I will live with you knowing there is no chance for me to ever beat you in being the best parent ever!!