Pondering

No matter what I do
I cannot make her happy
Late night calls that last for 3 hours
Sitting till 1:30 in the morning

She says she's lonely
Tired of going to sleep by herself
And she listens to my voice
It soothes her woes

I see her when we we're working
There's affection, closeness
But as the day progresses
She becomes more distant

I become whoever it is that she needs me to be

I alter myself to fit her every mood

My positivity draining
The positivity that attracted her to me

I'm tired

Misery is liking the company
And the company is me
Why do I bother staying?

I have bent over backwards to please her
compromised myself for far too long
I will help anyone in need

That's who I am

But if you say that I am changing
I'm not the person that you fell in love with
Take a closer observation
realize that you caused my change

I don't know who I am anymore
But I am still, enlightened

The scars of the past weigh heavily upon you
Even I cannot help you lift them up
So I watch, helplessly, grieving
As you are crushed into the ground

There's no more communication
It's one sided, all from me
Until you're ready for attention
Then you come running once again