Fool

Has the past destroyed what could have been a beautiful future? Or is there still a chance for redemption?

She intrigues my mind, this woman
Of whom I dearly love
So I reflect on in-past moments
And finally realize my fault

It seems I became fool
And let bad words into my head
I was out to prove what "white boy" could do
And I would prove it in her bed

And thus became the problem
A catastrophe, you see
Because I lost the best damn thing
That had ever happened to me

I feared that she was leaving
Pushing me out of her heart
So I rushed our first connection
The one we had really planned

Fall asleep into each others arms
And as we both slip away
Some kind of peace, nirvana
Would bring a comfort to our souls

But of course I had to rush it
For I was out to prove a point
So the mistake was in my logic
Deciding I would make a bag

A bag of treasured favorites
Guided by creative mind
It was easy, I'm an adapter
So I put to place on my own spin

But in my own creation
The monster had been born
I didn't realize 'til after
That it hurt more than it helped

The idea was just to cater
To her every little need
But it's not a thing that you would bring
On the first night that you meet

But I knew it had been a while
So I built it just for her
Thinking she would love it
"Our shared innuendo" said to me

I really thought she was just teasing me
So of course, I'd try to prove
This "white boy" can add flavor
I have "other talents" too

The logic of an apeman
So very, very sad
And I may have lost the best damn thing
I ever f*****g had

She was shy and oh, so nimble
When I would look into her eyes
She turned her head, and she would blush
And she always wore a smile

Now it's fading when I'm near her
And I finally do take note
I'm about to break her heart
I've become a walking joke

Fear of racism, willingly
I let some demons in
And they had ground and they had burrowed
Deep within my skin

So the status became principle
Rotting of my mind
And the man she fell in love with
She could no longer find

And I watch as she walks past me
Each and every day
Just to hear her voice, just one time
Saying "Everything is good"