Damned

What cruel trick do you play on me
Was there nothing there before
Mere illusion, sleight of hand
And you deceived my eyes

I stand here and I question
What this makes of me now
Still myself, slightly altered
Was this the true me all along

It seems that you don't want to answer
Sometimes like you have run away
Simply closure, that's all I'm asking
I think I've earned that right

Was it all to lead to nowhere
At least so far, for me
I see the paths that were handed out to all
Yet forsaken, do I feel

Did you forget about me
Or does this build to something more
An answer's all I'm asking
It seems you're hesitant to speak

Did you care, just for a moment
Or was this suffering in vain
I feel I walk this path alone
I swore you'd always be with me

Or are you merely testing
If so, when do I reach the end
I've done everything in your name
Was I mistaken, did I fault

The signs you sent were oh, so clear
Now it feels you've gone away
I question all that happened
And if you were ever there

This feels like a punishment
And less like a reward
No regrets, I helped those who had need
But for that I feel I'm damned