Shadows

A girl is chased by a dark presence.

She stepped off the bus at the corner of Chestnut and Main.  Unsure which direction to go, she stood in the darkness weighing her options.

 

The shadows offered her protection from those who were after her.  It was hard for her to believe that just a short time ago she was in broad daylight with friends, laughing as the sun caressed her shoulders and face, making her feel alive.  Now she was skulking in the shadows like a criminal.  Except she wasn’t.  She had seen something unimaginable, and now a force more potent than she could imagine was on her trail.

 

She chose Chestnut, as Main was too busy with bar dwellers and night crawlers, whereas Chestnut was an avenue of quiet homes and Chestnut trees in full bloom.  This would provide ample cover and offered the quickest route to her haven.

 

Moving from tree to tree like a silent cat, she quickly made her way down the avenue, the darkness of the night almost smothering her with its foreboding vibes.

 

Two silent car headlights flicked on at one end of the road, startling her.  She picked up her pace, looking anxiously over her shoulders.  She could now see the outline of...something.  A dark growing presence in front of the lights.  She didn’t have time to stop and stare; she had to stumble forward as fast as she could.  

 

Turning the corner, she could see her haven ahead.  A place she knew she could trust.  The sound of the car engine filled her eardrums, revving louder and louder.  The presence.  It was so keen to get her.

 

As she fled up the steps towards the door of her haven, she looked around one last time.  The car was stalking her like a black fox in the shadows of a barn, creeping along the kerb, coming to a halt some distance off.

 

She banged the door and pulled at the handle no reply and locked.  Her anxiety grew within her like a festering wound, getting worse and larger with every ticking minute.  Her eyes flickered from side to side; the shadows seem to grow taller, surrounding her, almost touching her.  Suddenly a light from inside the haven flicks on.  Someone was in!

 

Almost hysterically, she keeps pulling at the door.  The door is unlocked, and finally, she flings it open and throws herself inside.  The dark presence embraces her in a terrible grip.

 

Screaming, she awakens.  The sun is caressing her face from her window, birds are singing outside, her mother smiles at her as she comes in the room.

 

“Another bad dream my dear?”

Author's Note

continuation of my #BePositiveWriteNow project. Called The First Sentence. The first sentence in each story is given by an instagrammer. Happy reading.

Reviews

[matrixmark]

Intersting beggining to a good little story. Really, really good atmospheric feel to this short piece, had great visuals from your writing.

LOVED LOVED the ending, always a great fan of tales with a twist or waking up from a dream.

Kudos to you.

Mark.

[#BePositiveWriteNow]

Thanks Mark for this review. I work hard on creating an atmosphere, so I'm glad you felt it. Much appreciated.

[matrixmark]

Happy to have read it.

Mark.

[TheShadowsWithin]

Loved this!
Notes:
-"laughing as the sun caressed..." loved the verb there
-"Two silent car headlights..." You used 'silent' in the last paragraph. You could keep it that way if you like, but you could try using a different adjectives
-"...creeping along the *kerb*..."
-"...a light from inside the haven *flicked* on."
'flicks' is present tense, unless you intended it to be that way. The rest of the story was in past tense
-The paragraphs starting with: "Almost hysterically..." and "Screaming loudly..." are in present tense. Most of the story before is in past tense
-"Another bad dream*,* my dear?"
I hoped this helped, but please don't feel pressured to change anything.