Put it behind me

A Poem by Polysterene

Inner thoughts. Probably not grammatically correct as I just text them to my self as they come to mind.

As I sit and question my matter of procession after three years when it was the beginning of this recession in life and love and happiness takes me to a dark place where the glow is missed of all the things that may shine bright although I cannot see through this infinite night of unending nights and days on end where it seems as if the only trend is really hoping I don't wake up again

I see it a lit, a beacon in the future afar, unattainable unlikely and so so hard. Yet It shines so strong with rays of hope the encounter i wish for and I elope to a place far away that only exists right now in my mind. I have that to imagine as my body is steps behind. Behind in its journey, behind in its pace behind in the life for some reason called a race

But if this is a race am I not technically winning? Someone please tell me my head is spinning. To get closer to the finish line is the point than am I not just one step ahead of everyone up in this joint
I think I need a joint this is all too confusing and it really hurts me you find it amusing

I don't grasp the concept of the race in which we finish last. Making these memories as the time ticks past. Hour by hour and minute by minute it seems more and more all I want is to win it.

To seek the finish line and put it all behind me. Never watch the freeze frames, never rewinding.