God and I have an understanding

The other night, I was drug into a conversation between my husband and our daughter about religion.  Considering he's a "recovering" Catholic and she's still trying to decide for herself, it was . . . interesting.  Afterwards, I explained to her what lead to my separation from all theology.

 

Growing up, I attended church with my grandparents.  (Grandpa was Navy and a hell raiser until injured during World War II and became a bible thumper; Grandma was raised Baptist, but became a member of Church of Christ after they married.)  We were at church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any time there was some function or other during the week.  I felt like our church was my home away from home and the members were family.

 

When I was eight, I started questioning what was being taught in Sunday school, specifically the creation story.  To my young mind, it all sounded too close to magic and Mom already explained magic wasn't real and later there was a talking snake?  How was this possible?  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my dog, Snoopy, to stop peeing in the house much less get him to talk!

 

I'll be the first to admit I was a rather precocious child (now I'm just a pain in the a*s as anyone who has had to deal with me for longer than an hour total can attest to), but little kids are normally pretty gullible and here I was questioning our deacons, elders and anyone else who would listen to me about the freakin' bible!  My grandparents were appalled; why couldn't I be like the other kids and just accept what I was taught?  There was some funny business going on and I was going to find out what it was.

 

Fast forward to age 14 . . .

 

Grandpa was getting off the highway after driving home from seeing his family in Arkansas when he blacked out and crashed into three parked cars.  He was later diagnosed with cancer (brain and lung) and given six months to live; I was devastated.  He wasn't my biological grandfather (grandma's husband number three; bio-gramps was husband number two), but he was the only consistent male figure in my life.

 

His last month was spent at Jefferson Barracks VA hospital.  One Sunday, as Grandma and I were walking down the hall towards Grandpa's room, we heard men's voices; two of the elders were visiting and, as they were leaving, asked Grandma for that week's tithe since we missed services that morning.  She was shocked, but I was furious!

 

I was shaking as I told them how disrespectful it was to ask for money from a wife visiting her terminally ill husband; I wanted to know how they could justify such an action.  They told me they were only trying to make things easier for Grandma, under the circumstances, by taking a check with them instead of her making a special trip later.  I demanded to know when our church started worshiping the all-mighty dollar instead of the god they rammed down our throats each and every week.  They had heard enough and, as they walked out of the room, I heard one of the men saying how it must have been my grief talking.

 

We never set foot in that church again.

 

For the next couple of years, Grandma would drag me from church to church while she looked for a new place of worship.  During this time, she discovered Spiritualism and delved into the New Age fad.  Yep . . . not only was she taking me to church to commune with the dead, but we also had regular meetings with her "psychic" friends for years (sadly, Dionne Warwick never was one) and multiple trips to the metaphysical shops to buy supplies to cleanse the house.  Honestly, I think this was the most fun I had during my quest for truth.

 

Ultimately, the questions my eight year old self asked were never answered satisfactorily and the answers themslves only seemed to create more questions.  By the time I was 16, I had completely pulled away from the church and my entire religious upbringing . . . religion, in general, was a farce created by malicious men to control the weak and feeble-minded.

 

Now that I'm older and wiser, my opinion hasn't differed; I am now much more tolerant of others' beliefs and seldom will you find me debating these faithful beings.  Although, once in a while, someone will make a comment that I can't resist challenging.

 

I have tried to raise my children to think for themselves in all things and if they decide to attend church to see what all the fuss is about, I will take them; it's better if they come to their own conclusions and choose their own path.  I will support their choices regardless of my own beliefs (or lack thereof), but I ask that they educate themselves first and not choose blindly.

Reviews

[Liza]

i think parents are encouraged through guilt or the need to find support to raise their child - find religion....

how many times do we hear "baptize the baby" or they'll go to hell?

religion serves its purposes in that it creates order but when the thirst for power and dominance is so large; it becomes overwhelming and the guilt, ego and power trips are hard to take.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Oh wow! I am so glad I came here and read this..............What a tremendous story and one I know well.