Harajuku Dreams

Re-write of 'Metro Stars'

Bright lights outshine stars,
Fast cars and downtown bars,
A lost land of empty dreams,
A magic place of midnight scenes,
Gyaru girls and fashion teens,
Forgotten lives and vodka beings,
Sushi joints and sake drinks,
Take me there I need to breathe,
Harajuku, wait for me.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Please point out any errors.

Reviews

[ANTO]

Teagan - this could have been written by Boy George aged 17 in a bed-sit at the start of the New Romantic explosion of the 1980s. Its informative of what youth are doing now and where its all 'happening'. I liked it very much.

[Mizo4]

cool poem, good images invoked in it

[Luke Rawlings]

A good poem, I enjoyed this. I agree with Decanter Red; another structure might serve it better. A brilliant piece however, you have a talent with imagery :)

[Decanter Red]

Catchy, short, sweet. However, it doesn't seem to have a 'voice', not that it matters greatly but is merely an observation. It does carry a 'bored' or 'aimless' tone, however, not surprising after reading your profile though haha! A rap made out of this may be appropriate though.