Chapter 1: The boy who was taken away

A boy who lives a normal life is having a rather unlucky day and finds himself getting called to see some “Queen of Hearts” in a place heard only in stories: “Wonderland”.

Chapter 1: The boy who was taken away

                     

A boy with unkept blond hair, bright blue aquamarine eyes, and porcelain skin was rushing down the halls to his history class " messenger back slung over his shoulder and few books in his hands. He hadn’t got the time to get dressed in suitable clothing like he usually would this morning, so he had on his white button up dress shirt with a light navy blue tie around his neck, loosely coming undone (again, he hadn’t the time to dress his way or do anything as he was in a rush), dark blue jeans with light navy blue straps fluttering in the wind as he ran, and black shoes click-clacking as he made it into the History room, the teacher looking to be in his forties with slight hints of gray in his black hair, few wrinkles and an aggravated look upon his face, the wrinkles more visible when he frowned.

     “I’m sorry I’m late, it just isn’t my day today, first I-” The boy started.

     “I don’t want to hear it Mr. Walker. Just take a seat so I may continue on with the lesson.”

     “Yes sir.”

   The boy walked over to his desk, setting his books down horizontal and his bag set onto the floor leaning against the leg of the desk. He slyly slides into his seat and pulls out a pencil and notebook from his bag and jots down notes about the History of Egypt, today learning what the Pyramids were used for.

     “To begin with, the Pyramids of ancient Egypt were made and built as monuments to the Pharaoh’s power and divinity.” The teacher began. “The Pharaoh’s sarcophagus was buried inside along with their riches and the people who served him in his life. With the well-known elaborate traps which were set up, protected the mummy from thieves, but not well enough. Vents from the chamber led out to the fresh air, the people believing it allowed the spirit of the Pharaoh to visit his body as he pleased and for the initial journey from it.” As he droned on and on in his lecture, a few students were dozing off, or staring off into space, or doodling in their notebooks, completely ignoring the lecture. “I hope you’re all getting this down cause this’ll be on the quiz tomorrow.” Immediately, few of the students who were half listening began to write down what they heard, not all of it, or just random words they heard. The boy who had come in late had no problem at all with the current notes he had down, but had to ask for the previous notes he had missed for being late.

   Once the clock in the room struck noon, the school bell rang and all students packed up and headed out into the bustling halls to gather into the cafeteria…all but the boy who came late.

     “Mr. Walker, may I see you for a minute?”

     “Why? Did I do something wrong?”

     “No, no, I just wanted to talk to you about being tardy today is all.” He said. The boy groaned quietly walking over to the teacher. “So, why were you late today? You’re the only student of mine who comes on time. What happened today?”

     “Uh, well, my alarm clock didn’t go off this morning and I had no ride so I had to run here.”

     “I see. Well, you better get that clock of yours fixed so you come to class on time. Got it?”

     “Yes sir.”

     “You may leave for lunch now.”

     “Yes sir.”

   The boy walked out and into the busy halls heading to the cafeteria to get him something to eat since he hadn’t the time to make his lunch this morning or the night before. He was a busy boy, always working hard to get good grades and help out around the house when his parents were out, planning the arrangements for his eldest sister’s wedding. He lived the good life. But he wished ever so much to get away and spend his afternoon doing nothing like how cats take afternoon naps, basking in the sunlight. Cats were lucky; they were able to do anything they desired without being told what to do.

     “Anything…” He mumbled, closing his eyes as if he were to imagine himself as a lazy cat. While day dreaming, a young female student bumped into him, the two falling over.

     “Oh! I’m so sorry,” the girl apologized, “Alice. Are you okay?”

     “Trish? Oh, I’m fine, just day dreaming.” The boy known as Alice reassured.

     “That’s good, but why were you day dreaming in the middle of traffic? You don’t usually do that.” The girl, Trish, asked. She was tall and slim, her short curly red hair pulled back into a bun today with her blunt bangs held by bobby pins to keep them out of her rare emerald green eyes. She wore a white school girl uniform with golden edges, knee high boots, a silver watch on her right wrist, and pearl earrings.

     “I know, I just…let’s not talk about it, okay? I’m starving and forgot to eat this morning.” Alice said.

     “W-why didn’t you eat anything " you of all people know if you go too long without food, you’ll collapse from your fast metabolism!” Trish scolded.

     “I told you I’m fine, Trish.” Alice continued to reassure. He was helped up to his feet and though he was a bit wobbly, he said, “See? I’m fine.”

     “If you say so…” She said, giving up on convincing her friend he was not okay. The two traveled down the halls and came to the cafeteria, Alice quickly rushing over to the food line and taking a tray. When he came face to face with the cafeteria lady, she smiled and gave him large portions of food. He drooled at the sight of the tasty food, gladly paying her for his meal. Sitting over at a table by himself, he began to dig in and finished it in a matter of two or three minutes.

     “That sure was great. I wonder I can go for seconds?” Alice said getting up and turning around for round two. He waited in line again, the lunch lady surprised.

     “Back for more, Alice?”

     “Yep, it’s okay if I get more, right?”

     “Corse it is, always a pleasure to serve kids who enjoy eating.” She said and got Alice another helping of food. Alice again paid her and walked back towards the table he was seated at only to find the jock’s sitting there.

     Great…I better find a new spot to sit before they see-

     “Hey, loook~ it’s Alice, the boy with a girl’s name!” One of the jocks called out.

     -me…

   The jock who called Alice walked over to him, slinging an arm around his neck and ruffled his hair, hard.

     “OW! Stop! That hurts!” Alice said.

     “I’ll stop if you give me your food.” He bribed.

     “Okay, okay! Here! It’s all yours!” He said, the jock stopped and took the tray.

     “Thanks, Alice.”

~***~

School was over and Alice was exhausted. For some odd reason, today was just not Alice’s day. Nothing was right. He woke up late, dressed differently than usual, missed breakfast, got to school late, his second helping of food stolen, and so on. He even missed the bus back home, so he had to walk, that is, until it suddenly began to pore, soaking Alice.

     “Aw great; now it’s raining? What’s next, I fall and trip into a hole?” He said, aggravated. Continuing his trek back home, he suddenly caught notice of a white figure. “Was that…a rabbit? No, I can’t get distracted, I need to get home and get dry.” Eventually he made it back to his wonderful home, no one there and so he decided he would take a shower, putting a bath robe over him as he stripped (with the robe on) and tossed the dripping clothes into the dryer. While the dryer started, Alice then realized it was never safe to shower during a thunderstorm…so he would have to wait till his clothes were warm and dry. In the meantime, he blow dried his wet blond hair and when done, cuddled up in a corner with a large stuffed animal.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

     “Clothes are done drying.” He said and got up from the corner and getting the now dried clothes out of the dryer. He got re-dressed and was toasty warm. A scratching noise was heard, faintly, and so Alice went to the door to see who or what it was. When he opened the door, he was welcomed to a small white albino rabbit. He awed at the cute creature and brought it inside from the rain. He grabbed a towel and wrapped the rabbit in it, rubbing it together to warm it up.

     “I bet you’re hungry. I got some carrots if you’d like some.” Alice offered. The rabbit just crinkled its nose, Alice taking that as a yes and leaving the creature on the couch to go fetch some carrots. When he came back, the rabbit was gone and he began to worry and freak out. “Oh no! The rabbit! Where’d it go?”

     “Helloooo~” A females voice rang. Standing still and staying quiet, Alice was afraid he might just have left the front door open, when he swears he closed it. “You’re Alice, right?”

     “H-how do you-”

     “Know your name? Silly, I’m the White Rabbit, I know these things~” The voice said.

     “White Rabbit?! You’re not saying you’re from Wonderland, are you?! That’s just a fairy tale!” Alice said turning around to see who the figure was and it was a tall slim woman, about twenty or so with unusual long white hair, long pointy white rabbit ears, crimson eyes, a fluffy tail, and pale skin. She wore a long sleeved button up red dress shirt, red plaid vest, a white tie with the design of a clock on it, white jeans, black shoes, and white gloves. She took Alice’s wrist saying, “Come with me to Wonderland, the Queen of Hearts would like to meet you.”

     “What?! No way, I’m not going with some…rabbit woman to Wonderland!” Alice said pulling his hand away, but she grabbed his arm roughly and firmly.

     “You’ll come if you want to keep your head dearie.” She threatened. Alice felt so scared and intimidated by this woman, nodding his head. “Great~ Come, come, follow me hone~ ♥” The woman dragged Alice outside, the rain had stopped and it was sunny. She took him into the nearby forest and the two came to a large dark hole.

     “Uh, I’d rather not go in there…Can I just go back home?”

     “No, no, it’s safe, you won’t die, Alice.”

     “But I don’t-”

     “You’ll get in there and meet the Queen of Hearts.” She threatened again. Again, Alice was scared and intimidated and nodded once again. The woman smiled and took his hand and jumped into the deep darkened hole. The two were falling, Alice screaming as the drop seemed to last forever. When Alice began to see a black and white checkered floor, he covered his eyes.

     “Alice? What are you doing?” The woman asked. Alice moved his hands away from his eyes and was welcomed to a new world with large mushrooms, dragonflies that were rocking horses, butterflies with bread for wings, and unusual flowers he had seen that were very large or he had never seen before.

     “Where am I?” Alice asked as a bread butterfly flew by.

     “Wonderland silly~ ♥ I told you that we were coming here.” She answered.

     “W-Wonderland…? It…it really exists…?”

     “Yep! And now I’ll take you to see the Queen of Hearts, we mustn’t be late dearie~ ♥” She said and helped Alice up to his feet.

     “Wait, I don’t even know who you are, you say you’re the White Rabbit, by you’ve gotta have a name other than that.” Alice said.

     “Oh, if you want my name, it’s Ella White.” Ella said smiling and taking his hand. “Now, let’s go to the castle of Hearts~ ♥”

     “H-hold it! I-” Alice began but was shot a death glare and he stayed quiet. Ella smiled again and then pulled him along but then stopped. She pulled out a small bottle filled with a strange liquid.

     “I almost forgot " you have to drink this bottle.”

     “There’s no way I’ll-”

     “If you don’t, I’ll have to force you.” Ella said seeming as if she’d enjoy whatever she had in store for it.

     “O-okay, I’ll drink it.”

     “Good boy~ ♥” Ella praised, handing the bottle to Alice who took it. He stared at it and gulped. “It’s not gonna poison you.” He grumbled and popped off the cork and counted to three, chugging down the entire strange liquid.

     “Ga! Urg…*cough, cough** What the heck is this?! This isn’t a drink! What did you just give me?” Alice choked, feeling as if he were about to puke.

     “A drink that will make sure you do not disappear.”

     “Disappear…? What do you *cough* mean by that?”

     “I have no time to explain things; I must take you to my majesty!” Ella said and took Alice’s hand once again and the two dashed off in the direction towards a red castle with hearts.

~***~

The two had finally made it to the red castle of hearts, highly guarded by guards clothed in red armor and were warmly welcomed. “Welcome back Miss. White.” One guard welcomed. “Oh, good evening Miss. White.” Said another, Ella greeting all who welcomed her back with a smile and a wave. Once Ella and Alice made it to the throne room, they were welcomed to the beautiful chandelier hung over head, the air smelling rather nice like the scent of roses and jasmines. Ella released Alice’s hand; giving him the sign to stay put and walked towards the throne.

     “You’re majesty; I have brought Alice to you.”

     “Thank you, Ella. Bring him to me.” A male’s voice said with a fan in his face. Ella gestured for Alice to step forward, Alice doing so and what he saw was surprising. The Queen of Hearts was not a woman, but a man. He has droopy dark hair, leering crimson red eyes, and pale skin. He wore black clothing under his luscious and long red robe with hearts, golden rimmed shoes, golden shackles on his wrist, and in his other hand, he held a staff.

     “Y-you’re-” Alice stammered, unable to comprehend the title “Queen” of Hearts this man had.

     “I need you to do something for me young man.” The Queen of Hearts interrupted, closing the fan to reveal a small birthmark of a heart on his left cheek and an earring pierced almost to the top of his right ear. “I need you to take this package of tea to the March Hair, Mad Hatter, and Dormouse for me.”

     “A…package? I’m here to deliver something for you?” Alice asked.

     “No, I’ll talk to you about why you were summoned here later when you come back. Now, off you go Alice Walker.” He said, a guard handing Alice the bag of tea for him to deliver. When he took it, he nearly fell over, but caught himself.

     “T-this is really heavy…any way I can…take something lighter?” Alice asked.

     “Sorry, but that’s the only thing those guys live off of. Now hurry it up, I don’t want you to come back late.” Queen of Hearts said. Ella volunteered to help Alice half the way till they were to get half way to where the three the Queen of Hearts mentioned, Alice gladly accepting her kind help even if he was mad at her for forcing him to Wonderland against his will…more like taking orders from the “Queen” to kidnap him.

~***~

Alice and Ella had walked for a long time, Ella telling Alice that he had to carry the tea the rest of the way to the threesome’s hid-a-way. Alice sighed deeply, Ella reassuring him with a pat on the back and an encouraging, “You can do it Alice~ ♥”

     “Easier said than done…I have no clue where they are, nonetheless, what they look like!” Alice protested.

     “You’ll know when you get there. They’re…well, mad and insane. Watch out for flying tea cups.” She warned. “I’ll stay here to escort you back to the castle.”

     “Great…” Alice said sarcastically and headed off to find the mad and insane Hatter, March Hare, and Dormouse in the woods.

   Traveling for a few minutes, there was a loud and rambunctious noise, with screaming, yelling, and breaking glass. Alice’s face grew pale, the insanity seeming to sound all too much mad and insane for someone like him…What had he gotten into?

Author's Note

Director: TheWhiteQueen

© PokemonFan#1
© Imagination-mage
© Jamillet
© InkAngelXIII
© TheWolfLady (Aka: QueenTomboy18)
© Imaginator

(P.s. I wrote the first chapter (this one) to start up the group story)

Reviews

[Post Pen]

A boy with unkept blond hair, (bright- cut) blue aquamarine eyes, and porcelain skin was rushing down the halls to his history class. (His )messenger back (bag?) slung (hung?) over his shoulder and a few books in his hands. (poorly worded sentence- He hadn’t got the time to get dressed in suitable clothing. (like he usually would this morning-cut-, so) He had on his white button up dress shirt with a (light- cut) navy blue tie hanging loosely around his neck. (,coming undone (again, he hadn’t the time to dress his way or do anything as he was in a rush - cut - we got it. cut, cut, cut- dark blue jeans with light navy blue straps fluttering in the wind as he ran, and black shoes click-clacking as he made it into the History room) The teacher looked to be in his forties with slight hints of gray in his black hair, (few wrinkles) and an aggravated look upon his face, (the- change) his wrinkles more visible while frowning.
*** Too much physical description - we might care if it were a school uniform, we definitely don't care about shoe color... Run on sentences...
“I’m sorry I’m late, it just isn’t my day today, first I-” The boy started.
“I don’t want to hear it," (add - said) Mr. Walker. "Just take a seat so I may continue (on - cut) with the lesson.”
“Yes sir.”
The boy walked (past tense) over to his desk, setting (present tense) his books down horizontal(ly) and his bag (set- cut) onto the floor leaning against the leg of the desk. He slyly slides (present tense) into his seat and pulls out a pencil and notebook (from his bag - cut - of course from his bag) and jots down notes about the History of Egypt. (, today learning what the Pyramids were used for. - cut)
(Ok, OK... he set his books on his desk and his book bag on the floor. We really don't care if the books were horizontal, how else would they be? We really don't care that the book bag was leaning against the leg. It doesn't mean anything to your story.)
***Your tenses are jumbled in a lot of your work. Pick present or past tense and stick with it. Watch your use of "ing" verbs. Use these very sparingly. Try to use interesting action verbs instead.
*** Read your work out loud and you will see it makes no sense. You must "hear" your words as others do.
“To begin with, the Pyramids of ancient Egypt were made and built (made and built - same thing) as monuments to the Pharaoh’s (power and divinity.”- cut) The teacher began. “The Pharaoh’s sarcophagi (pleural) were (pleural) buried inside along with their riches and the people who served him in (during?) his life (rein?).
(Poor sentence coming up - they did not have elaborate traps - only in the movies)With the well-known elaborate traps which were set up, protected (to protect the pharo's...) mummy from thieves, but (these rarely worked) well enough. (Fresh air...)Vents (were installed in many of the) chambers (led out to the fresh air,-cut) The (Egyptian) people believing (present tense? use past here- believed) it allowed the spirit of the Pharaoh to exit the tomb and then allowed him to (visit his body as he pleased. ( and for the initial journey from it.” - cut)
As (he) the instructor droned on and on (in his lecture, - cut) a few students dozed off, (or staring off into space, or cut) doodling in their notebooks. (completely ignoring the lecture.- cut) “I hope you’re all getting this down cause this’ll be on the quiz tomorrow.” Immediately, few of the students who were half listening began to write down what they heard, not all of it, or just random words (they heard. - cut) The boy who had come in late had no problem at all with the current notes he had down, but had to ask for the previous notes he had missed for being late.
*** You need to listen to your work then re-write it. Your use of verbs is irregular. Some sentences don't even have a verb.
*** Make sure every sentence is a cohesive thought. Read it and re-read it. Don't put more than two ideas in each sentence. It is OK to have ONE thought. Fewer interesting words are better than many redundant or useless ones.
Contact me when you have redone it.
Post Pen