The Cold One

 

Some say the mind carries an embedding of incontinence

 

That inside, deep down in the unconscious

A certain spore of much vivid lechery

Is having its way with our mind

Without any thought to our personal consent

 

That when he commits a federal crime

It was on the basis of his own desire

He is a person lacking self-discipline

Falling into the trap of sinful human incentives

 

Most importantly, the absence of remorse

Of which he is incapable of presenting

Nor the consideration to whom he has afflicted

 

Does he ponder what he's done?

He shakes his head in offbeat rhythm

Sitting in the tiny cemented room

Steel bars jutting up from the ground

The unconscious spore pulsing against his skull

Accusing and berating the man of this predicament

 

He wanted a way out, yet how can you escape from your own self?

The prescriptions had done nothing but been a short relief from reality

His mind strained to look inward, to the self he does not fully know

Something was there, bringing his conscious thoughts to a halt.

 

It told him things that aroused his thoughts

Made him come out of his line of reason

To a place where logic had no meaning

And everyone was against him.

 

And where there was no trust

There only was him and his mind to care for

Because everyone else was undeniably insane

And so upon the day of his release it came to be

That he felt once again the satisfaction of the warm oozing liquid

Covering his hands, as he put the rest of it back into the cooler

The little girl's small limbs providing sufficient space for the rest of his grocery

 

His mind laughed.

Author's Note

A look into the mind of the emotionally inept.

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

AKA, Iggy the Icky Id.

One could argue that only the skin gives the illusion of personhood, given the ramshackle nature of so many psychic assemblages given a "John Doe' label.

Wryly creepy touch, that business with "oozing liquid" and "little girl limbs" and "his mind laughed" -- "mind of the emotionally inept" indeed.

The chilling observation that the "The Cold One" considers "everyone else" "undeniably insane" is quite effective.

What's uncannily ironic, is that he may not be wrong (it's a question of degree). But his solace is hideously dreadful. Positing a calibrated spectrum of criminality and insanity as being deeply endemic to humankind is a darkly Gnostic observation -- cynically divine. Rather than some inept excuse for the worst of us, it might encourage fewer easier answers about just what the ruling orders of the world think they are really up to.

Coldly effective and thought-provoking piece.

[Lyrical Love]

Excellent write! I used to shy away from the dark and disassociated kind, but have found that it is more gray than I knew.
It told him things that aroused his thoughts
Made him come out of his line of reason
To a place where logic had no meaning
And everyone was against him.
Standing O!

[Billy Baphomet]

This was stunning Cynically Divine. Very coldly written, as if from the mind of a reptile. I love playing with the idea that sanity merely a "herd concept" and can be twisted and bent. Everything is relative, of course excepting the one Objective. . .that all is in fact relative.

Well done.

[Legion]

I found this piece creatively done. Dark. Disassociated. Disturbing. Excellent qualities for the topic. Kudos.

[Wildecat]

You seem to have this down to a science, a very good story, a definite pleasure to read your work.

[just is]

Wow! You have a knack for writing stories.
This is true too.
If there is no trust among people we have nothing.
I like this, you did a wonderful write here.

[Lynx]

Awesome write, I love the whole concept.
And yeah, I don't think people like them could ever stop. They have this mentality that can never be changed, even if they wanted to, even though at most situations they wouldn't even want to change.
But then, I don't really think it is possible for the criminal to ever be let out if he kills, it's a serial killer thing, no one ever gets let out.
I love the way you wrote this, so yay. Awesome work.

[SilentOrchestra]

Amazing imagery and intellectual word use. I loved reading the story although it took me two times to get the flavour of your narrative.

[Zak]

Wow. Seems like you've got the mind of the criminal down to a T. It's absolutely true; some people just never stop.
The Prose is pretty amazing, as well. I love the way you moved your sentences to where they truly gave that "juvenile understanding."

One thing. I'm wondering why you have the first three lines and last four lines of the final paragraph were grouped together. What effect do they have on one another so that you would put them into a single paragraph?