Killer

I breathe you in

Like nicatine.

I don't want you

But I crave more.

I pull you in

To be by my side,

And let the guilt

Build up inside.

I sing love songs

For you to hear,

Though your love

Is not sincere.

I wait for you

To love me back.

Instead your hands

Wrapped 'round my neck.

 

 

Author's Note

Please enjoy.

Reviews

[Thaddius]

great concept and simplicity.

[PoetryPenPal]

Thank you very much!

[LadyAnn68]

AHHHHHHHHHHH....OMG this could get a million votes for clarity! YOu certainly know how to describe the picture!

[PoetryPenPal]

Thank you very much!

[R. L. Hill]

Great poem about facing an addiction! It is like a love/hate relationship. Very good

[PoetryPenPal]

Thank you very much!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good description of a cigarette. Easy to need. Hard to forget. I did like the good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[PoetryPenPal]

Thank you sooooo much!

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

This poem is a good set up for something that could be expanded and matured into a great metaphor. Love is very much like a smoking or drinking addiction - people love to hate it but cannot seem to control themselves at all. This poem could be cracked open and bloom like a flower, each petal a new depth of the poem, a new illusion to allow the reader to go deeper and deeper. There is a great opportunity here to expand and allow your readers to fall in desperate love and feel that ache and pain.
This is a good write.

[PoetryPenPal]

Wow. Even your reviews are fun to read! Hahaha! Thank you so much for your review and great inspiration!

[Thaddius]

I agree it could be expanded on. But the light lyricism works cooly with the morbid analogy, and it's a lot of fun. Putting yourself into an excruciating situation as a pastime and laughing in the face of danger is exactly love, so I appreciate how you carry off the poem with that kind of spirit.

[Praveeta]

Well crafted poem on the silent killer.

[PoetryPenPal]

I thank you alot Praveeta!

[Praveeta]

You are welcome Poetry PenPal.

[Maddi Snowden]

Lovely. Absolutely lovely.

[PoetryPenPal]

Thanks Maddy!

[Maddy]

Very interesting read. I enjoy reading your thoughts on what false love is like. I find that a killer to someone lying about love is a perfect comparison. Nice job.

[PoetryPenPal]

Thanks so much!!!

[Sami Khalil]

A good take on cigarretes and nicotine...Bravo..................

[PoetryPenPal]

Thank you so much!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)................