Redesign

Underneath and upside down

I build myself, a better man

I build myself of hard stone, and simple things

I make my life beautiful

Though, I am not beautiful

I build myself of heaven, and rain

 

Re-imagine and redesign

A better me I need to be

A creature of simplicity

Filled with love, and the things I need

Fill me not, with money, nor greed

But faith, and truth

The love that You can give me

Is all that I will ever need

 

Carve from marble, granite, and steel

I prepare myself for the trek

Through fire and forests alike

The lies and what's real

I vow not to deviate

From the path laid down

I vow to love and to care

For friends and enemies alike

 

And though I will often stray

I will find myself, back on the path

In grace, and smile upon my face

I find myself, alive, anew

I find the things I never knew

For Your love is powerful

And Your heart is true

My soul is grateful

Grateful, for You

Author's Note

Any, and everything.

Reviews

[Noa]

Hello!

It always moves me to see religious poetry, especially so subtle as this. The love and trust is burning through your words, and it is a wonderful experience.

To comment on the earlier review, both rhymes and non-rhymes can work great in poetry; just make sure you do not limit yourself too much by trying to make something rhyme (or not). It is a language of the heart, after all :)

As a tiny tip, try using more punctuation to indicate where your sentences start and stop. It will make for an easier read, and it can help you with your creation of flow.

My favorite lines are "I find myself, alive, anew / I find the things I never knew" It has a musical tone to it, and it brings a happy, free feeling.

Thank you for sharing your work!
-Noa

[god is not great, I am]

I enjoyed it, although I cant emphasize enough how much better ANYTHING is when it doesnt rhyme. leave the rhyming to doctor seuss.