She's Broken

 She’s broken

She’s broken, wondering where it went wrong

She’s broken, can’t stop playing their song

She’s broken, too upset doesn’t want to say

She’s broken, thinks about him every day

She’s broken, doesn’t want her friends to know

She’s broken, unable to move on and let go

She’s broken, but realizes it’s time to move on

She’s broken, no longer playing that song

She’s okay, has found new love on a date

He’s broken, as he realizes it’s too late!

 

Reviews

[Leigh]

Great use of words and colour fonts to get the 2 meanings in. A sad and happy tale in the end

[Tom]

All's well that ends well !

A touching poem that flows and reads so well, enchanting indeed !

[Sami Khalil]

I love the repetition , the font colors and the painful message in this wonderful poem...Life is harsh indeed ...:)....................

Duality as the picking of a flower, ends in truth... what a marvelous thoughtful write!!! :D:D

[Lily Mae]

This I love with a big fat LOVE lol ;) xo

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice flow of words. Flowed like a song. I like how the tables are turned in the end. Sometime we learn too late what we lost and can't get back. A very good ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[manchilld99]

I love this. I too have written poems that are driven by a single phrase ( see "Have You Seen My Wife?"). This is a very emphatic technique to drive a point home, and can be used to cut deeper and deeper to where it hurts -- or heals.

I have one suggestion, having to do with both symmetry and pace. There are three, two sentence stanzas depicting her descent, then a point of gaining equilibrium (She’s broken, but realizes it’s time to move on). Maybe her ascent to being whole should not be so abrupt, as in "And they lived happily ever after." Rather, giving equal time and space might make this not seem so much a wish-fulfillment, but as much a process as her becoming broken in the first place.

AND, having not heard about 'him' through the whole poem, I don't care about him in the last line. The same effect might be had by keeping this within the context of her experience, just as the rest of the poem is focused.

Please don't mind my being critical. I really, really enjoyed the poem.

[J Todd Underhill]

I am not sure how I missed this one, but hey catching up now! Well done and the ending is so true of us guys before we know it the object of our desires slips through our grasp!