Passionate Kiss....

Passionate Kiss....

A Poem by Yellow Butterfly
"

"I will never forget....."

"
This was the very moment
 when you captured my heart
An unexpected encounter
of true love from the start
Along the shores we walked
Talking whilst holding hands
Oblivious as the tide came in 
washing away the glistening sands
Locked in our world of dreams
our minds drifting out to sea
Without a care in the world
blissfully happy you and me
Sea breeze caressing my face
Mesmerized by the beauty
of this tranquil sublime place
Treasured memories we have together
of this one precious moment we shared
All the time you gave nothing away
I never stopped believing you cared
Never ever imagining this day
would remain with me forever
They say dreams do come true
Time ago I would have said never
Yet walking with you that day
I have never felt like this before
A pulling deep down in my body
Can't explain yet needed to explore
Over the sounds of the ocean 
we couldn't hear a sound
Only you and me the moon
 the sea as we looked around
You stopped and turned to me
I watched your face break a smile
Deep seated feelings rushed over me 
You felt the same too for a long while
Looking longingly into my eyes
You suddenly kissed me with such passion
Caught me of guard what a surprise
My heart skipped so many beats
As I responded to your kiss
Pressing my lips against yours
Overcome by feelings of sheer bliss
Emotions took hold no time to breath
rushing around my body wild and free
Crashing and fighting the urges
like tidal waves out at sea
Was this really happening to us
Our bodies responded with such haste
These burning desires consumed us
As I felt your mouth lips and taste
Couldn't hold back any longer
intoxicated by the woody smell of cologne
Your urgency to devour me too
was needy and mutual I wasn't alone
Just for this one moment in time
It felt like time stood still
Locked in your arms I didn't let go
there at my own free will
If body language spoke words
then what I read was true
The feelings we had were real
thats why I gave my all to you
At that very moment when we kissed
 Our lips pressed together so tight
There's a saying words speak volumes that I know
but your kiss spoke more to me that night...




© 2013 Yellow Butterfly


Author's Note

Yellow Butterfly

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Reviews

This poem captures the moments and the feelings in a very artistic mastery...
Well penned.

Posted 12 Years Ago


you sure like those long poems dont you


Posted 12 Years Ago


Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

I sure do .... Thank you :o)
mhhh.beautiful. nice ryhmes too.i liked the eyes,surprise part.


Posted 12 Years Ago


How romantic was that!... lovely picture created... nothing more romantic than that slow walk along the shoreline, with the sound of the sea breathing it's constant sighs as it moves to an fro upon a sandy beach... and the young couple in their dreamy state... completing the picture.
Well done to you.
*bird*


Posted 12 Years Ago


Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

Thank you *smiles*
You definitely capture the intensity of memory this day left behind. All in all it does what it sets out to do quite well. I am not the world's biggest fan of love poems, so you can take my criticisms with a grain of salt, but here they are:

I felt like a couple lines were cliche. e.g. "I have never felt like this before" and "Just for this one moment in time / It felt like time stood still" etc. The rest of the poem proves you can say these things more poetically than this.

I also think some punctuation wouldn't hurt. I know punctuation is always optional in poetry, but it alleviates the reader's need to backtrack and be sure they're not guessing wrongly at the flow of your thoughts. Another option is just adding blank spaces if they make sense anywhere, but with such a flowing moment as this, I'm not sure that option makes sense here.

And lastly, the word "suddenly" can be a trap. "You suddenly kissed me with such passion" ... but the suddenness was delayed three syllables. This is total opinion, but "suddenly" often has more impact if it comes after the verb, allowing the verb to truly be more sudden.

And on a kudos note, you really know how to describe a nommy kiss :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

Wow! Thanks for your constructive review... I write how I feel and express the best way I can iof .. read more
Romantic and beautifully written. Great job!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

Thank you
They say "It's in the Kiss"...that's when you know, you can feel it from your head to your toes. I love this! So romantic... a very sweet and memorable moment on the beach. Lovely write!

Posted 12 Years Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

Thank you Robbie.... :o)
Robbie~xoxo~

12 Years Ago

I love it... it's very romantic! :)
Romantic and intense... Lovely!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

I woildn't want it read any other way...

Thank you and I'm pleased you thought it was .. read more
Very loving piece. It's not often you read love poetry anymore

Posted 12 Years Ago


Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

Thank you :o)
Oh wow, I do writes like this, but the build you construct, the details and the love just saturated it all. wow, I'm not going to write anymore, I'm going to go hit the favorite button.


Posted 12 Years Ago


Yellow Butterfly

12 Years Ago

Awwwh Thank you so much... I just inboxed you before I read this review.. Thank you

Lo.. read more

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Added on July 23, 2012
Last Updated on September 18, 2013


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