~WOULD i BECOME MORE LOVED~

These are just some thoughts that popped into my head tonight, so I had to write about them.

 

 

 

~WOULD I BECOME MORE LOVED~

 

If I became much Thinner,

Would I become more Loved?

If I were Toned and Trimmer,

Would I become more Loved?

 ~

If I became more Beautiful,

Would I become more Loved?

If I returned to School,

Would I become more Loved?

~

If I became more Graceful,

Would I become more Loved?

If I became more Greatful,

Would I become more Loved?

~

If I became more Trustworthy,

Would I become more Loved?

If I had Plastic Surgery,

Would I become more Loved?

~

If I became much Wealthier,

Would I become more Loved?

If I became more Healthier,

Would I become more Loved?

 ~

If I became more… Everything,

Would I become more Loved?

If I became a Memory,

Would I become more Loved?

 

Author's Note

We are our own, worse critics.

Reviews

[AG]

this hits me harder than anything I've read recently.


so simplsitic yet true.

the minimalism just screams out pure reality.

i love this poem.

[Les]

I like this one. I believe that despite the outer appearance, the beauty within one is what determines how we're "more loved" by others. You worded this so well.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Inddeed, if we are happy as we are, mostly others will be too. To love others, first you must love yourself...

[Ladysue]

Jill, I like what you are saying in here. If we have to change our selves to suit another, then we aren't true to ourselves, but that doesn't change the feelings we have at times. A really good write.

[J. Marc]

We all know the feeling and you expressed it very efficiently. All those questions people have asked themselves at least once in a lifetime. So, first of all thank you for the courage for showing us all our frailties and humanness. And then, indeed, the last two lines although somehow provocative, is also speaking so truthfully to the reader. The answer cannot indeed be given in simple terms. Remains the strong quest for that something that makes our life different and more meaningful, make us laugh and feel lighter and more intelligent, and........Oooops!

[Krishna]

I tried to write a poem about women's consciousness, but I believe it takes one to know it better, good job. Why must we do something to be loved? Because love is conditional in a material world? It's sad really, isn't it?

I can't believe you are a grandmother!!! But one thing I'd suggest Jill if you don't mind me saying so, it would be very touching if you could add pictures to these poems. What I do is I just google images, because I truly am lazy, but not lazy enough not add a picture to my poems.

Just imagine, a young woman looking into the mirror as a visual for this poem, it would be amazing!

[Annalisa]

True, but others sure do help us criticize ourselves. This poem reminded me of the song "Sleep Together" by Garage. It was interesting, and a good read. A little slow until the last two lines though, but those were lovely and pulled the rest of it together. Good work!

[Arthur Henn]

I liked it.

[Ralphy]

Wow, how we value others impression to gauge our acceptance. If I became more�everything. I believe almost everyone can relate to this writing, nice work.

[Kris Tate]

OMG, This is just how everyone feels at times, and these are questions we all ask. I love the repetition and how the whole piece flowed. It is so sad that we have to ask these questions, and that some people get the surgeries to feel accepted in today's world.