Sarah

a poem about aa still born child

Sarah

Sarah was the name of my daughter who was never born. She die inside of me ., I’ve been wanting to write a poem  dedicated to her and to all the children who0 never make it into this world. I’ve held back only because of others things that seem to take precedence. I lost Sarah  October 27 1996. It was an experience and continue to be an experience that only someone who  lost a child berfore they were born can understand. Just as i can’t totally feel the pain a parent feels who lost a living child noone who has not lost a child in utero can feel what i feel. SARAH A life not live wonder what you look like  who would you have been  would you have like chocolate or strawberry ice cream. Preferred playing with the boys or playing make believe with your dolls sounds of your laughter  i strain even now to hear  looking for the smile  0n a face i never knew  thinking of how you had by pass  all the pain of this world  sadden you will never feel  the wind on your face  as you race down the street  the cold ocean water on a hot summer day the wet sand between your toes  as you walk along the beach  close enough to the water  that your footprints sink in but like the image left by your feet  the memories  of what could have been  what should have been  are washed away with  a wave of disappointment  from life  Still the tears come  when i think of how  you will never get  the chance to  learn  how to prayed  what God was like  or the magical feelings of others coming together  to rejoice  for their life  Yours never began  They said at first there was a slim chance  Remember how i talk to you  did you hear me pleaing with you  to hang on  just a little while  than they said your chances had improved  Having hope for you  i was so excited my little girl  was going to live  I didn’;t know you were a girl for sure  but i named you Sarah and believed you would survived  You hung on and grew stronger while i pray ,talk, beg to whoever was listening  please save my little girl I could feel you moving, living, maybe i even felt you breath Kicking me was the gift of hope you gave  as I struggle to stay calm do all the doctors said  but when the doctors said we were in the clear I stopped begging  I was relieved my daughter would live  Sarah that was the day you died  could it have been i stopped  praying, begging bleeding out tears  so you could live to learn to love  that morning i knew you were gone  I didn’t feel no movement  I knew the battle was over  not because the doctors said so  but the stillness of my womb  Petrified i scream inside nooooooooooo not after all of that Than the doctors said it needs to be verified  she is not moving  no heartbeat to be found  my Sarah never made it to this world  what else needed to be said  Her grave was inside of me   I wondered  why or how  where could she have gone  I searched the word  read how she would never know the pain  I searched the word i wondered  would she know my God  I searched the word and knew my Sarah would not live  How sad with all the trouble in this world  she would not experience the joys either  Hugs from my daughter is what i misssed  Kisses from a child that didn’t make it into this journey  A lifetime lost Who knows what my Sarah would have Gave  Where she would have went  what would have been her favorite thing  how would she have joke Sarah my daughter  she was never born  still I missed her like she had lived             Lynn Higgs

Reviews

[youngwriter222]

this is such a great tribute to your daughter who was never born. I can guarentee that she would have been very special and just like you imagine her.
Today I just lost a friend, I was her peer helper and her name was Sara. I gess that is a popular name cause that mine too.
Losing someone is always sad, espically one that you have never got to know. Knowing that it was your daughter would be very hard.

Sorry for your loss