Can't go back There

a poem about a fear of returning to an abusive relationship

 

Can't go back..:

The place was dark

 Tip toe around when he is home

 My Presence may disturb His peace

 Don't speak a word Less you want to hear

How you are not enough

Where walking in a room

No longer feeling welcome

Can't go back to that

Just a drab that leach onto him

How dare I assume to deserve some compassionate

Your enemies become his friends, you are always wrong

All you want is someone to agree with you

 Someone to offer a warm refuge when the world becomes icy

Not being worthy to even be touch like another human

Wondering what atrocious act you committed

To receive this sentence of alienation

Can't go back there

No respect allowed for someone who so beneath him

Know your place don't expect any personal time

Realize you are here for only certain things

When he is ready, he will signal by sneak attack

 If he does come you watch and brace yourself Cause the grab is coming

 His version of intimacy, Not a word, not a sound, just an grab from behind

 Laugh as you jump, his divine pleasure is to let you know

 You are only allow in his presence for one thing

Can't Go Back there

 Why would you think you even are worthy?

 You should be grateful he lets you live in his presence

You who only wanted his love

No complaining just adjusting

 Over the years your will became less

 Seeing the fighting didn't improve things

 Just gave up, sunk lower and lower

Into an abyss of emptiness

Can't go back there

Now you finally free

 However, the fear is lurking

 Always aware the possibility of giving in

Once again losing who I was

 No more can I hide or pretend again

The destruction of the spirit would occurred

Thought or the memory seep in of what it was like

 Horror grasps my inner being

 I realize there is only one solution

Can't go back there

Reviews

[Sarahthirk]

Wow. I can feel the fear in this poem. It's so heavy with every line, describing every little part of the relationship that was tearing the person apart. This is one of the best things I've read