Anger returns

A Poem by Lynn Higgs

a poem about returning anger. strange U realized this poem is about a PTSD attack.. I did not remember writing it but it here I wrote it in 2008

Anger returns

Most of the time it's quiet

no sign of it's existence
just when things seem settle
it hits with the vengeance of all strong emotions
knocking me on my a*s
this anger has broke loose again
flows through my veins
issueing it pain as it moves through muscles
clench my fist just wanting it to subside
but it doesn't so quickly
the anger persist
handicapping the warrior i am
                    not able to move               fraid of hurting an innocence one
    Yet here it is
   the person who cause the anger
he look likes Hitler to me now
having to keep myself from puking
as the anger just builds
discusion continues I smile
trying to relieve the tension
of the explosion happening
inside my heart
Anger leaviing a trail of unbelievably pain
Hate grows with it
Making it unreasonable anger
They said My God would take this burden from me
yet i keep giving it to him
he keeps handing it back to me
even My God Cannot
stand the hate that comes with it
making us both sick
I have to question if i gave it to my God at all
why do i keep struggling to give him
this hate that grows
choking off all my understanding
or the forgiveness i seek
not to just give him
but to give myself
The shame i feel
For letting things last longer
than i should have
Maybe that where the anger is from
My soul screaming at me for betraying it
even just a little
Trapped anger grows
thinking it finally turn
and left my being
Then Bam the stars floating around my eyes
like someone hit me up side my head
it comes quickly dazing me for the moment
regain my balance but can't with this anger flowing freely
so I have to trappped it again
aNGER MAKING ME SICK
PAIN OF ALL IT CARRIES WITH IT
IS TO MUCH TODAY
MAYBE TOMORROW I WILL
FINALY LET IT GO
->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->TO MY GOD
OR JUST TO RELEASE IT TO THE ATMOSPHERE
WHERE IT CAN DISSIPATE ->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->-
BETWEEN THE LAYERS
OF OTHERS POSITIVE ENERGIES
Maybe then i will find forgiveness
for things i couldn't stop from happening
Maybe I will find the love
i need to feel in my heart
to stop all the pain of this anger
wanting to hurt others
Than i can let myself be me
no fear of hurting someone who is innocence
or someone who is Guilty
but just to love everyone!!!!!

Lynn Higgs