PTSD

A description oif what it is like to have PTSD

PTSD

Never know when it’s going to hit.

Sometimes it arrives slowly

Can watch it’s like the sun coming up

Others begin all of a sudden

You may shake a little

Or shake so hard

You think it may never end

Feeling the fear

Rush of adrenaline

Wanting to run

Nowhere to go

Breath in and out

Squeeze your fist

Hoping to offset the worst

Nothing seems to make it go away

Many different ways it happens

Immediate feelings may take you

right out of your body

Grasp to hold onto reality

Hoping praying it would end

Sometimes that works

But sometimes it gets worst

Like hanging on for a bad roller coast ride

Wanting it to end

Feeling stuck in the moment

You could go hours, days, weeks, months

Without having any more symptoms

Then bam it creeps up

All of a sudden it starts again

Feeling a sense of accomplishment

When they seem to stop

Peace blown away chaos increasing

Struggling once again

Keeping your focus

Not wanting others to know

Terrible secret

Sickness you carry with you

When someone does notice

You hide it with excuses

Going so long without having any

They begin once again

All you want is some harmony

Be normal

Not permanently damage,  Damage has been done

Wondering if you will Ever be able to fix

Thing that reveals

Clandestine illness inside

So many misunderstand

Who can understand?

When will the final chapter be close?

It comes back like a bad taste

All you have work for

Like it never ended

Claim to have methods that work

You may think they do

If I could take a pill I would

If an operation would stop it

I would

Somehow they say I have a choice

The choice would always be

Not to go there

Not to experience PTSD

Reviews

[Veronica Staehle]

This hits and articulates a lot of themes that feel true to the experience. The way you presented your font initially was distracting for me until I considered that it's half erased and a little erratic; which seems completely appropriate. You have thoughtful words and create feelings of angst which is well done. Thank you for not holding this in and bravely exposing these vivid thoughts and feelings. Worthy read.