Princess

Mesmerized by Her Presence, she's a Princess in my Eyes

 

I am mesmerized by her presence

A princess in my eyes

A girl with a beautiful essence

And a radiance like the sunshine

 

She carries all the qualities

Needed in a lady

A sweet personality and charm

Increases her beauty

 

Her eyes are like bright stars

That appears in the day as well as the night

When she smiles its heavenly

And her eyes twinkles bright

 

She’s a blossom that blooms everyday

And at the same time like a butterfly

Putting a smile on peoples face while it flutters away

She’s an angel if only she knew

That she’s a precious gift

To everyone she knows

And this is why I sigh

Because she’s a beauty and not mine

She’s a Princess in my eyes.

Reviews

[Bennett Logan]

I like love poems, especially those about forlorn love. It's just anguishing, and everyone knows what it feels like to love someone who may not feel the same.

What you have here is personal, honest, and very real. You've conveyed your point, and it's clear that you've lived through something that makes you feel both elated and sick at the same time. In that respect, this poem should not change. It's just how you feel.

Here's what I want to throw your way, though. Write another poem. Take something about this girl that makes you feel the way you do and focus on it. Is it her laugh, her eyes, her smile? Write about just one such aspect, focusing on the image, but make it as heartbreaking as possible. Describe every feeling and emotion as if it were a physical thing you could touch. This way, the situation is personalized -- something that only you have experienced.

Sorry if I get preachy. It's not my intent.

Give it a shot to see if you like the results. You certainly don't have to post your new poem on here, but put it up if you like it. You definately have a natural knack for the language in poetry, and I'd be interested in reading more. Feel free to send any read requests my way. Have a good one, sir, and I hope I could be of some assistance.

["Fanatical Dreamer"]

Innocent pure passion,beautiful write

[Lyra H]

Wonderfully done, with great imagery and feeling. A winning masterpiece...

[Jessi]

This is so beautiful, who ever it is that you see this way is very lucky, Great write