Emerald Rain

Small brisk strokes jab somber
Rhythms across dead strings.
Fingers resonate with clarity like
Blue roses in secret gardens.

Echoes loom to ascension,
Angels breaking wings.

With one look, all
Is siphoned into a lead heart,
Beating into rich anchors
Of skinned emotion.

It can never die.

Reviews

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

Thank you for the read request.

I think it is wonderful how you can say so much is such a short poem. I do feel that it may be a little too short, however, to add more seems to waste the ambiguity and mezmorization that it holds over the reader. It is really effective that your ending is just one line. It's really in your face, that last line.

You did a wonderful job of putting forth the feelings presented throughout. That is important. It brings a new meaning to the poem and helps to deliver it intensly.

Thank you for sharing.

[Carl]

Sometimes the best poetry can have the least words. But the words used can convey so much. I liked the way you likened the falling of the rain to the playing of notes on the guitar. Yet as the sound goes through the air it resonates with creation and calls to all things to stand up and take note. I really like the way you discribed Angels breaking wings i imagine them craining thier necks and straing to catch the melody of you and your music as the emrald rain begins to fall. And again i imagine them trying to catch the essence of the moment so that it can be siphoned off and put in lead containers known as hearts so it will survive and never die. I salute you and your work Vinyl Junkie well done great peice. Carl

[Your Dog Can Type]

it helps me to understand so many things in such a vague way, thanks for the read request, this poem will never be forgotten

[Jade (insanity)]

I reallly liked this. It was amazing. :] Very well writing and intersting chioce of words...in a good way.
Again, i really liked it!
-Nightmare

[Amy Carrington]

Wow. You're one of the lucky few who can actually get their meaning across without drawing out the poem to a point where it's too long to be enjoyed. Really great work!

This is most likely wrong, but I think of it as about someone playing an instrument and the listener doesn't think anything of it, but suddenly they feel something.
Very vivid, I especially liked the title.

[abejoyal]

Great work. This says alot in a relatively short poem and I'm impressed by the amount of effect it had in its relative simplicity. It maintains a not mild, but instead solitary tone that is extremely effective. Thanks for sharing this.

[Ebb and Flow]

I'm stunned into few words. This is amazing!

[[.forever.dreaming.]]

amazingly well wrote ...
alot of emotion packed into a small poem!
your writing is so well done, i absolutely love it :)
thank you for sharing.

[Meredith Leigh]

'Small brisk strokes jab somber
Rhythms across dead strings.'

'With one look, all
Is siphoned into a lead heart,
Beating into rich anchors
Of skinned emotion.'

- It truly is brilliance! The description, the detail. Oh it's just so very pretty! I love the feeling it leaves me. It's so interesting. Awesome job!!

- Kriss

[emma]

I found it quite overwhelming, in a good way. And also quite sad.
Excellent Writing.