Undreamed

Water slowly drips down her gold hoop ring, condensed
From mist, drops of the falls sprinkled along her
Straightened dark hair.
Her dry lips together, tasting
The spray, full and supple.
And she sits there with me, grasping something.
Beyond our own lives. Effulgent. Ebullient.

I broke the moon for her.
Poured out the light and held it.

She could see
The distance of love, folded
Within a clasped, wet hand.

So much to show her. To share with.
Like a horizon's end on Pier 62.
The clouds slowing to a halt as
Moments are heard. And
I painted a picture over the Seattle skyline.

The day lifted away into the blanket
Of years. The song undone.

Reviews

[sheerpoetry]

'I broke the moon for her.
Poured out the light and held it.'

so inspiring, i love the tenderness of your words and the imagery of this piece, i want to say that your work makes me stop and take a breath and take my time to enjoy every moment of its existance. everyword is signifigant! A TRUE WORK OF ART

[AK]

Seattle will do that to a man. Beautifully done!

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

i'ts been a while since i favorited a poem, but i did with this one. excellent job.

So much to show her. To share with.
Like a horizon's end on Pier 62.
The clouds slowing to a halt as
Moments are heard. And
I painted a picture over the Seattle skyline.

i know exactly what you are talking about. we are from the same area, so i know where this is! i have painted many pictures under the seattle skyline too! ha ha. esp alki beach. anyway, i love your style of writing, and how you wrote this poem short, yet so picturesque and engaging. good job!!

hold it down for seattle writers!!

[Patricia]

Brilliant imagry, well written and very vivid. I really liked
"And she sits there with me, grasping something.
Beyond our own lives. Effulgent. Ebullient."

There just seems to be a lot of feeling there.

[Honeypot]

This is great! I especially loved the line, "I broke the moon for her. Poured out the light and held it." It had a nice flow and pace to it. You do good work!

[Hayame]

Well written, it gave me very good mental imagery. I also couldn't find any typos or grammatical errors, that made me doubly happy. :)

[universalove]

To find a moment of joy once and again in a world of words is a beautiful thing that one must work on. Your poem brought back thoughts of time lost. But the game goes on. GOOD WRITE.

[Lynda]

This is really beautiful, I love the lines
The day lifted away into the blanket
Of years. The song undone.

[emma]

This is very nicely written. I thoroughly enjoyed it. One part really stood out for me;

I broke the moon for her.
Poured out the light and held it.

WOW!!

[The Cougar's Den]

Hey, I like this! Snap.

I broke the moon for her.
Poured out the light and held it.

LOVE THESE LINES.
Great write.