Daddy Dope Veins

For as long as I can remember my father had an addiction to drugs and alcohol which worsened after my parents divorce. I have grown to understand and forgive at the same time.

Oh, Father of Mine

Waited so long for you 2 come around

But when you did, you were stained

With ALCHOL breath and tattered clothes

 

Remembering that day on the corner you stood

Longing for the moment for my bus to return

Screeching of the wheels to brake as I ran down the

Aisle and hopped off the bus

 

Tears in my eyes, I cried from embarrassment

From the hold in your pants or the bottle in your hand

I ran right by you, ashamed and head held low

But you still called out my name

 

That’s the moment I knew, my life would never be the same

The love I felt slowly evaporated from my body, heart, soul and mind

As drugs and alcohol replaced the only

SON and DAUGHTER you created

 

Time went by and you no longer recognized us

Walked right by us on the streets like we didn’t exist

I guess in a way we didn’t anymore

Easier to hate you from a distance because if you were near, my heart would

Break because you are my father

 

Now that you are gone, I cry because you never got to see the woman I turned

Into or your first grandchild born

So much lost and missed but I remember this

You created me and for that I’m eternally grateful but I wish I had a father

 

A real father, not an idealistic version

That I will never be able to have

Wanting so much for you to be here

Wishing you could have been different

 

Why couldn’t you pick us over the drugs?

You were found at the bottom of the stairs on a dirty floor

Arms with bruises and sores that stained your skin

Those arms once used to hold me with love and care

 

Grayish brown skin diseased by drugs you called your best friend

Reality sets in and while you’re buried there

Your best friend is still here

Alive and well bringing the families the same hell

 

The same hell that I’ve lived in for many many years

Now I’m older and wiser so I see it all differently

You didn’t choose your drugs over family

By losing your way and neglecting your faith

God gave you goals that you couldn’t attain

Allowing obstacles detour you all the way

So every night I stand above my child and pray

 

That he’ll never see me the same way

The only drug I consume is inspiration

Let it run its course through my veins

Devouring it every second, minute and hour

 

For I shall remain

 

Sane to live, see and breathe another day

Author's Note

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Reviews

[A.J.Thompson]

Impressive, you achieved what you wanted, a meaningful pathway through a dysfunctional family, the terrible blight on humanity that is Drugs and Alcohol, the affects on the Family unit, your emotions of embarrassment, all laid out before us, you are one strong woman. A Great read, Best I've read today, Thank you!