~Beauty is her Name~

One of my greatest fears is to leave this Earth and not be remembered...

[IMG]http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh75/shanty242/n17026038_34729395_1549-1.jpg[/IMG]

~Beauty is her Name~

Her face was mere perfection,
Beauty longed to be her name.
Her hair was as long as the Nile River.
Her eyes as blue as the sea.
The bridge of her nose as magnificent
As the Golden Gate itself.
Her lips were as full as the moon
Her smile alone could blind you.
Her features were so symmetrical
It was as if God Himself
Had hand crafted her from scratch�
Men were marveled by her beauty.
Women secretly envied her flawless silhouette.
Once very lively she now lay still
Eyes closed, mouth stiffly turned up
Her arms crossed over her chest
She lies breathless in her coffin.
A small crowd attends her funeral
The only words spoken were of her beauty.
.
..
...
....
......How will you be remembered?

Author's Note

We should want to be judged by the fruit that we bear, not material things, or what we look like...

Reviews

[Andrew Reeves]

Deep sista! I loved the depth of meaning in this piece. The only thing I saw that might hinder this piece, is the fact that it seems a little cliche'ish. Phrases like . . ."long as the Nile River", ". . .as full as the moon" Try switching these up a bit.

Otherwise, fantastic job. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thanks for the read.

[shadadakiya]

take the death part out and all is good ,great work(:

[Sexy Jones]

This is very nice and holds a lot of power because of the truth it speaks.

I would want people to not remember only how pretty I am, I would want to be remembered by the things I've done. My accomplishments.

This gives the reader a lot to think about.
How are you being perceived?
Simply as a beauty queen or is there more to you than that?

[BJ "Bunneh3000" Brown]

I love the message in this poem. I think I kind of agree with Andrew Reeves though. Try using images in your descripitions of her beauty that are a bit more vivid. Also, try crafting the stanza a bit different. Some places where you have two lines could probably be better served as one long line even...

[Nana Carmine]

It's a weird feeling- not knowing if we would be remembered. But I really like the poem. You did a great job- thank you for sharing.

~Nana Carmine

[Robert Wilson]

Beautiful work. One minor complaint is the over-use of the word "her."

But yea, this is a great piece otherwise. Very vivid

[These Haunted Hallways]

Holy WoW!! This was magnifico! Very beautiful, indeed. I could feel the deep emotions, and could see the entire scene. Ur words were very awesome. The rememberance of beauty on the inside; that feeling of what they've done to make a difference is what definitely counts. Beautiful :)

B.A.

[AK]

Nicely done! One thing I know for sure... I have no worries of being rememberd as just another "pretty face" : >)

[Rodney Russ]

Nice direction you took the piece in.

[Dani California]

Oh dear lady ... you have so creatively expressed a message that needs to be taken very seriously, yet seems to be drifting further and further away from us with every new generation. Very well written and such an awesome message!

Well done!

[Constance]

Wow. Awesome write. It would be awful. to be remembered for only beauty, which is such a fleeting, shallow thing.