~Falling Apart at the Seams~

I am tearing and falling apart at the seams...

[[IMG]http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh75/shanty242/Broken_heart_by_fabu.jpg[/IMG]
~Falling Apart at the Seams~

I�m tearing and falling apart at the seams
Giving up and casting away all of my dreams
Crying out and weeping till my tears run dry
I hang my head and watch the world pass me by
Seeing you around breaks my heart in two
A beautiful woman on your arm walking next to you
My pulse races as our eyes start to meet
Standing and staring as you pass me on the street
Seconds go by and I have to tell myself to breath
My hearts in my stomach as I watch you leave
Vivid flashbacks flow through my mind
Our perfect love frozen and stuck in time
I Dial your number just to hear your voice mail
But when a woman answers I hang up and bail,
Making my already fragile heart break once more
My body gives way and crumbles to the floor
Why is it so easy for you to just walk right by?
Without painful memories or one tear in your eye
I build myself back up and start to repair
But my whole being shifts with just your stare
Why can�t I get over you and realize that you�re gone
I�ll just have to except that I�m destined to walk alone...

Author's Note

Your honest opinion is always valued..thanks for the read..

Reviews

[Rod Zinkel]

This is one case where I don't think rhyme is necessary, or may even detract from the point. When rhyme is used it brings order to the subject that prose does not. While we all order our thoughts to some extent to write, the subject is one that causes disorder. So, something to think about.

[Andrew Reeves]

I feel your pain on this one. Just know that - although it might get worse before it gets better- it does get better. I loved your choice of words here. You don't try to make the piece overly flashy. The writing is 'real' in every sense of the word. You paint a picture of loss and pain that is so familiar to a lot of people. My only recommendation regarding the piece is to go through it with a fine tooth comb. I found a couple of punctuation errors and a few words that seemed out of place. Otherwise, fantastic job. Keep your head up baby girl!!

[Joseph - Michael]

First of all, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. Secondly, I know how that felt. Last of all, you should be lucky that you never had a child with someone like that. Believe me, it's the best that way. I have a son and it's really hard for me to look at my son when he got his mother's eyes

Anyway, it's all good here...

[Forest Green]

Very emotional summary of being left behind. Self-torment and reaching for bits and pieces of some one and something that seems completely lost and irreplacable.

Very nice work!

Thanks for the send.

Daniel

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Is that you??? Are you sure that is you?? Cool rhyming poem girl. I am very proud of you!

I loved the whole thing up until the end when the last 2 lines didn't quite rhyme. I still really loved the poem though. It looks like it rhymes. Anyway, Keep up the good work. I have been writing non rhyming poetry lately and look at you...writing rhyming words.
Love All, Mejasha

[Lafayette]

As all ways great emotion!

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

wow... great piece ... such emotion that runs through the entire piece -

[AK]

I have my own opinion about men in general (thank you Gov. Spitzer). Pieces like this one make me wish young folks would slow it down a bit and take their time. I understand the desire to fully invest in a relationship with the hope that it will succeed. But too often it doesn't work out that way.
Clearly though, this guy was way out of his league anyway : >)
A painful write, nicely done.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

This is a beautifully tragic piece, wonderfully written with deep emotions. Nicely done. Flowed wonderfully.


Great Write.
Rayne.

[Thanh]

great poem. i like a lot. Thank you sharing with us

[Mel Stevens]

Good poem. It's more...real...than most tragic poems you read. Did catch a misspelled word-starring should be staring.
I don't know if it was something you were going for, but when I read it I couldn't help but think of song lyrics.
Very good!