*Rescue me*

I am drowning in love...rescue me...

We sit in screaming silence
As my head clanks and clatters
With wordless yik-yak;
That seems to be
On our regular menu;
So I take a bite every now and again
Just to satisfy my appetite.
We converse
And make dead-end chit-chat;
Expanding the deep blue ocean
That’s already between us.
So I put a note in a bottle
And send you an S.O.S.
Begging you
To rescue me from this sinking ship;
I’m plunging, and plummeting
Into this dark salty sea;
I gasp for air,
And choke on vague water,
As huge waves thrash me towards shoreline
I tumble onto dry land
Weary and tired;
And stumble
Out of love with you…
 

Author's Note

It seems that Falling out of love is alot harder than Falling in love...your reviews and opinions are welcomed...

Reviews

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I try to believe that there is someone out there for all of us, it just takes time and the right moment to find them. But I feel your pain in this piece. And you're right, falling out of love is very hard... I've gone through that many times. Wonderfully penned, and very well expressed. Nicely done.


Great Write,
Rayne

[suediv07]

I like the sequence of feelings, from hope to despair. Moreover, you rendered the situation of non-sense dialog in which two people aren't able to work their relationship out.

[Blue Bard]

I didn't see the twist coming at the end. It was a very surprising poem. As your note reads, there is the struggle with what we lose as well as what we gain in love that's done. There's always a trade off. Wonderfully rendered.

[Robert Wilson]

Amazing. Very vivid expression and great metaphors. This is going in my library.

[Robert Luna]

I love imagery of this and the way you conveyed such a depth of yourself among these tangled and twisted words of a story of heart ache and in the end acceptance things have to be this way. Made for an enjoyable start to my night of reading.


Great Job!!!!!

[James Mayfield]

I think this was a masterful way to describe the void that can grow between loved ones. It's a difficult thing to fall out of love and sometimes it's just as hard to let go once you do. This was a great write. Thank you for sharing.

[Angela H.]

This is stunning writing with strong imagery and sense of self. Not overwrought and just the right length without going too far or wallowing in the overused.

Really nice write.

[Mark T. Littlejohn]

These words expressed what was going on and i could relate to the feeling of moving apart instead of being closer:

We converse
And make dead end chit-chat;
Expanding the deep blue ocean
That's already between us�
So I put a note in a bottle
And send you an S.O.S.
Begging you to rescue me
From this sinking ship;

Great way to express the emotions of falling out of love!

[AK]

Two things you need to know...
1. This is heartbreakingly good.
2. Do not give up, Mr. Right willl find you! Just be patient and respect yourself in all things.

[OneLove68]

I like this piece- i could feel the pain in the poem. I always recommend- to stand in love, rather than fall in love...