*Remember Me*

Will you remember me...?

~Remember Me~ 

I am fading into the mist of you
Teardrops roll down my cheeks
But they would freeze in time
If touched by your icy fingertips…

 

I am drowning in your foggy image
Gray haze covers my view
But only for a moment
Time does not heal my misery
Your face still haunts my dreams…

 

I am falling into the craters of you
Midnight black-holes overwhelm me
But somehow, you are still my light
Even after you stomped all over my heart
Leaving me only to reminisce…

 

I am fading, drowning, and falling,

Smeared in your mind;
Like rainbow colors on a white canvas… 

You paint new picture-perfect memories,
She is your new Sunrise…
And I am left…
…only…
To be forgotten…
 

Author's Note

After the loss of a great love feelings and emotions still linger...leaving one to think will you still 'Remember Me'...

Reviews

[ah]

you make me feel your pain through this writing. there is no other way around it. you hit hard with emotion and paint great pictures. another great write. keep it up.

[REALIZE]

The sorrow in this piece comes alive. I feel it with every lne. You expressed your emotions well along with keeping a good flow with the poem. I love the visuals you gave. And it brung a keen imagination to the material. Good write.

[Sexy Jones]

Wow.
That ending...
"Smeared in your mind;
Like rainbow colors on a white canvas�

You paint new picture-perfect memories,
She is your new Sunrise�
And I am left�
�only�
To be forgotten�"

I like the imagery of colors on a white canvas.
I think this goes through everyone's mind after a serious breakup.

[Jacqueline]

This brings up memories; it makes me feel your hurt and understand your emotions that burst through this great piece. You feel helpless as you can't control your feelings and make the pain go away quickly. I felt this...

[Prose-full]

"...fading into the mist of you"---awesome
"I am drowning in your foggy image
Gray haze covers my view
But only for a moment
Time does not heal my misery
Your face still haunts my dreams�"---amazing stanza

"black-holes overwhelm me
But somehow, you are still my light"----powerfully emotional..

"You paint new picture-perfect memories,
She is your new Sunrise�
And I am left�
�only�---love the use of ellipses here....
To be forgotten�"---what an ending...

amazing write...im flabbergasted by the talent surrounding this Cafe

[Carrie Montgomery]

oh,girl...you blew me away with this. It is vulnerable and touching. Full of rhythm and very ...graceful.
"I am fading into the mist of you... I am drowning in your foggy image...I am fading, drowning, and falling,...
She is your new Sunrise�And I am left��only�To be forgotten�" wow. I love this .

[forfila]

Its a sad tale, I liked the read though.
I wonder, was he a boy friend, was he a friend. You know, love is funny, sometimes expressions of love (for me anyway) go far deeper on a friendship level.

Miss treatment is unjust though, I guess I'm trying to work out your mood in this poem. Always remember that love is to be shared, embraced.

Know one would forget you =)

[Bryce Simonds]

I enjoyed this greatly. As I was reading it, it reminded me of many things I wrote. I like how you brought the fading, drowning and falling into that one line after you used each of those words to start off one stanza.
I noticed a typo though:
"I am drowning in you foggy image"
Do you mean:
"I am drowning in your foggy image"?

Good write.
Keep it up.
-Bryce

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Oh, I thought that you were going to stray from your free form and do a rhyme this time. You had so many opportunities to make a rhyming poem and instead you gave it your own unique style. I loved it. Like I said before, I sometimes do not like poetry that doesn't rhyme. They seem just like random words and thoughts thrown together. Yours is not like that. You have got style. Is that natural or did you have some training. Your profile sais that you are 20 right. You couldn't have had too much training. I think it's natural and that you use your life experience as your inspiration.
Love All, Mejasha

[Bridgette Schatz]

I love this poem, because I feel I can relate to it from a similar sitution, even though the guy I liked, I never dated. Sometimes I feel this way about an old crush I had a year ago. Also, sometimes I feel I'm over him, then other times I'm asking myself why do I still think of his name repeating in my mind if I don't even want to speak to this person, as a friend?