i think you do a really nice job of exposing the waffling that goes on for most people in terms of faith. and if you think for a minute that even the most devout dont sometimes doubt their faith, youre wrong.
if this is meant to be simply an exploratory surgery of feelings then i think you should leave it as is. its obvious its written spur of the moment and thats fine. if this makes sense, its confusion is perfectly clear. the train of thought is easy to follow, even when it derails.
if this is meant to be a genuine pleading for help and hope, then i would say this:
faith in a higher power isnt on-demand tv. even though you may pray for something, that does not mean it will happen, and that certainly does not mean god is not present because he doesnt heed your request. when searching for something higher than yourself to have faith in, i think its important to not necessarily pray for outcomes--like a new car, or a better boyfriend, or good grades--but its more important to pray for intangibles--strength, more faith, wisdom, patience--things you can use to get what you need on your own.
By the way this poem is awsome. I am Pagan, one belief is that if you worship god your worshiping Satan. Based on idolizing both. I see what you mean though, you are loosing yourself as you open your conscience to the truth. Don't get discourage, don't back down, and keep your eyes open. If you need some insight, I am here, and I have many philosophic views to share.
Your title is perfect for the emotion you're conveying. Wow, I feel like a witness to a purge. I feel stronger to, somehow, because in reading your piece, I 'emoted' thoughts I never thought to write. Kudos.
i think you do a really nice job of exposing the waffling that goes on for most people in terms of faith. and if you think for a minute that even the most devout dont sometimes doubt their faith, youre wrong.
if this is meant to be simply an exploratory surgery of feelings then i think you should leave it as is. its obvious its written spur of the moment and thats fine. if this makes sense, its confusion is perfectly clear. the train of thought is easy to follow, even when it derails.
if this is meant to be a genuine pleading for help and hope, then i would say this:
faith in a higher power isnt on-demand tv. even though you may pray for something, that does not mean it will happen, and that certainly does not mean god is not present because he doesnt heed your request. when searching for something higher than yourself to have faith in, i think its important to not necessarily pray for outcomes--like a new car, or a better boyfriend, or good grades--but its more important to pray for intangibles--strength, more faith, wisdom, patience--things you can use to get what you need on your own.
Posted 16 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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I write poetry everyday, it is my life, my soul, my being.
Poetry is what holds me together, it is what keeps my from going insane.
All the times i wanted to commit suicide, it is what pull.. more..