random blurps

i feel chained

i feel as if im being held back

by the monsters inside of me

like a fairy tale

with out

the happy ending

 

 

 

 

 

a rainbow of problems

a colorful pain

a rainy day

a black hole

my heart is my own

hold it close

and never let go

 

 

 

 

all i want to do is fly away

never to return

sew my wings back on

so i can finish my journey

send me away to never land

 

 

 

my kingdom is where i hold my throne

i stand before you

guarding my land

and my people

fall to your knees

and you will perish

before your bretherens eyes

kneel down

be begin your painfull suicide [ this one is so old i may have gotten it from a song.. not sure]

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Fra/c/ture]

the first three blurbs are pretty decent. the fourth one im not as crazy about--it sounds like its trying to hard for that dark-vampires-and-evil-soul crap that so many people spew out.


your voice is in the first three. simple language delivered effectively. id either bang them into each their own poem and not add much on to them or if you want them together try to find some unifying tie between them. if you ever read e.e. cummings, youll see that almost any randomness can be connected with great effect.

nice quick writes here.