Eating Means Disorder

Stomachs filled with butterflies, not calories.

I wish i could say its been quiet
but with all of the growling its been far from it.
Its been empty though,
nothing more than walls and loud aggressive growls.
The walls are the source of the growling wanting simply to eat enough to keep warm during the winter,
and the summer.
it has no warmth
no saftey
it is all spiderwebs in ricages, giving it that delicate affect
it is knives for shoulder blades as it has nothing else to protect itself
its throwing up powdered sugar as it has not eaten in 3 days
it is not a monster
it is simply a child whos upset but doesnt know whats best for them
you know whats best for them
clearly eating only brings disorder, right?
so you dont give it what it wants
and when pass out from taking a step,
youll fall into clouds that catch you
because you are extremely underweight.
But eating is disorder
and you just want control and order
but not to order anything off a menu
"im not hungry"
"i already ate"
"im feeling sick"
Ill just get a diet coke and puke that up later too, even though it has zero calories.
But its okay
youll learn to make friends with the monster that is your stomach,
youll start to enjoy its growling and pretend that its talking to you and thanking you
because eating means disorder and disorder means life not worth living

Author's Note

uploaded on mobile. i do NOT promote eating disorders. poem used for coping and venting