Nautilus

Haiku

NAUTILUS

Down the lonely depths

in her bowels of pressured pitch

brave, his tiger stripes.

Her inner most womb

where amorphous life ignites

closer to all dreams.

Submarine seashell

In Ocean's love gravitates:

carnivore protist.

Reviews

[Calamityofgin]

What a gorgeous description of the inner workings of a sea shell...mathematics of it are global...the algorithm used to unlock the rings of a pineapple and the curve of the moon the same..how magnifique mother nature God, of whatever understanding, and science...

His tiger stripe...the anthropamorphic pitch to.this also brought to my mind a mans possession.of his mates body..that fascinated me that i.couldnt quite ungrip.that in my mind. Intent at all?

[Calamityofgin]

As far as a syllable count..if this were entered in a comp..id fix..i.would never have noticed
.think he needs to lighten up.some. Think about the words a little more. Frustrates me when someone writes the bulk of their review on a tiny mistake ona compelling piece and has nothing meaningful to.say about the beauty. I.read others off of their reviews so often, i.looked you up because of your intersting review of Einsteins piece. Would not have any desire for...anyway...i.digress
.
.thats up to your personality..i.wouldnt change a thing.

[NinjaShadowWolf]

I love the ocean, and I love haikus. One suggestion though, or a point, but in the 2 of the poems, the middle line has 8 syllables instead of 7. When writing haikus,mist very important to remember the motion and keep in mind the amount of syllables. Anyway, very creative. It's difficult to think of poems for haikus.

[Butch Decatoria]

Thank you for reviewing and reading, much appreciated...