Sleep Baby Sleep

to my nephew...written 11-17-08.

i need to live my life

Let me live

                   i can’t die

Let me live

Pull it from my grasp,

all hope of a “normal” life, for a mistake that was not my own, can’t stop the tears from falling, love is the greatest pain you know?

watch me suffer, watch me moan, hear me scream, hear me plead

let me bleed, it’s become too much.

 

Sleep baby sleep

Mommy will be home soon, to b***h and groan about the red stains on the carpet where you play, it’s never enough, how hard i try to care for you, she’ll always complain, then come asking for my help again...

 

Sleep baby sleep

i won’t let you go, you are my life, it’s okay aunties cry sometimes too, thank you honey, but i don’t think a baba will fix the pain inside me, just give me a smile, with those sparkling eyes, aunties cry sometimes too...

 

Sleep baby sleep

And when you wake we’ll laugh and play, forgetting all the tears, making these the memories we keep, the “i love you”s and kisses and bedtime stories, clean diapers, and wooden spoons, and cheerios too...

 

Sleep baby sleep

And always remember i love you, and that’s all we need

For i’d rather see your innocent eyes full of joy, with arms stretched out to me, than ever be “normal”