Letters of death

I wrote this not to long after my brother commited suicide. not sure why.

Letters of death

Cut deep inside, My blood drips to the floor.
The pain that I once felt I cant not feel no more.
The knife that cut me, Must have set it free.
For the pain that I once felt was slowly killing me.
Was it something that I said to make it go away
Was it the work of God, did I kneel before to pray?
I look down to the floor there's a puddle instead of a drop
I began to think where's it is coming from, will it stop?
There must have been a murder, someone must have died.
The moment I saw my mother she began to cry.
I tried to comfort her placing my hand upon her head.
I listened to her ask, Dear God why is my baby dead.

I couldn't understand what happened, who was it that was gone?
The answer to my question didn't take to long.
I followed her to the bedroom, a lifeless body on the bed.
As I took a glance it hit me, Oh my God I'm dead.
The room started spinning, the air was almost gone.
I couldn't quite remember why I did something so wrong.
How could I hurt my mother with a pain she couldn't bear?
I hope she knows I had my reasons and its not that I didn't care.
I wonder if she really knows its her ill miss the most?
Even when I'm cast aside eternally as a ghost.
Then I remembered I wrote a letter explaining what I had done.
Why I was a coward and when the pain had begun
I should have said it differently, for now I feel such shame.
For once she reads that letter she will feel that she's to blame.
I wish I could rewrite it just change the words around.
If only I were magical this is the letter she would have found.
Four little boxes a gift and a letter for you.
Each contain a part of life that together we've been through.

One: You brought me into the world
even though it caused you pain, for this I leave you aspirin
to ease some of the strain.
Two: For so many years you comforted me and gave
me so much love. For this I leave you purity
on the wings of this snow white dove.
Three: Through the years of raising me you believed
in me no doubt. I guess that's what unconditional love
is all about. For this I leave a locket with a picture
of us two. So even with all the hurt the love we have
shines through.
Four: This one is the final box this is our farewell.
I'm sorry that I hurt you, I know you couldn't tell.
The pain that I had inside of me I hid it from your view.
Please my dearest mother remember, this had nothing
to do with you. For this I leave a broken clock.
For now were stuck in time, and you wont have to miss me
and we are both just fine

This is what I should have said, I just didn't know.
I really didn't think about it. I just knew I had to go.

Reviews

[hannah]

Incredible. Touching and extremely passionate. Great rhyme scheme. But, I do have to ask why you wrote such a sad poem? Not that it's not beautiful because it is, in a dark way.

You've displayed a great deal of pain in this poem. Suicide, in my point of view, is not an act of cowardice. It is merely a confession of pain and a last resort to escape pain.