A Quiet Ending

A queit ending, no words said

 

No one left but,

 

you can tell it's gone ....dead

 

nothing to do with a flesh interference

 

Like I can see him,

 

but there's no inside nor emtional apperance

 

A quiet ending, why is he blind,

 

it's not the same anymore

 

he sees nothing wrong,feels it's all the same

 

Problem........

 

I feel we've not grown

 

went from embryo to infant .. died

 

A quiet ending of tears i've once chocked on,

 

eyes no as red as this ink

 

he's not yet to tell me what he thinks

 

DRIVES ME INSANE, BUT YET HE'S SANE

WON'T TELL IF THERE'S ANY PAIN

JUST CHANGING,CHANGING,CHANGING

 

A quiet ending this gigantic wall,

 

got my hammer in my hand

 

but he built a sheild

 

I strike....break finger

 

I strike....break hand

 

I strike....break arm, wall still up

 

now all frozen,

   tired of striking, trying

 

My care for has become paralyzed.

Reviews

[Chris]

Good content and the flow of the thoughts through this piece works well. Minor flaws - obvious type-ohs... "chocked = choked" "no = not". The flaws are more of language usage that will go away as you become more proficient and practiced.

Chris

[Kenneth The Poet]

Stellar, and bloody.

Not bad.