When You Were Taken Away

My heart broke and cracked in two

When you were taken away...

The clouds parted, and up you flew

When you were taken away

I cried and cried, feeling so blue

When you were taken away...

Why, I haven't a clue

As to why you were taken away...

Although I may not have gone up with you that day

My heart has gone a long way.

Reviews

[William Liston]

This poem reminded me of how I felt when my dog died ... it was a terrible feeling that I couldn't explain. I wasn't surprised when I read this was about your kitten ... pets can be friends/family too, just like a human can.

I like how you repeated the line "when you were taken away." It was a simple yet poignant line (in the context of this poem), so its repetition enhanced the melancholic effect -- it didn't distract from the overall tone of the piece (like many repeated lines do). I also liked how you didn't use a period until the end; it gave the poem a "stream of consciousness" type of feeling, where everything seemed to flow without pause. That's a difficult effect to create, but nonetheless, you've done it well in this poem. Thanks for sharing.

- William Liston
(P. S. In the second-to-last line, the first word should read "Although" and not "All though").

[Tori Jones]

Thanks, that's very kind of you to say!

(Thx for pointing that out, I'll fix it!)

[Paul Bell]

Always sad when you lose someone. Sure Leah is running about in kitten heaven.

[Tori Jones]

Yes i'm sure she is having a lot more fun there then she ever could here

[Karmee]

such deep feelings in this.

[Tori Jones]

I wrote this poem after Leah (my kitten) died of internal bleading...It was was a sad day, I got up to go to school and she was just laying on the floor :(

[Karmee]

i am so sorry

[Tori Jones]

It's fine, it wasn't your doing...