Strife and Struggle

A poem that addresses the abstract considerations of existence, survival, knowledge, self-awareness and happiness.

Both space and time cannot destroy

     us, or force us to shed a tear

against our lives' approaching joy.

     Can these struggles dissolve what's dear

to our joined souls and make us coy

     about a bliss that's nearly here?

 

We--survivors!--hope against hope

     and love against war and bitter strife;

together, we struggle and cope.

     We live and die with so little life

or peace against this world's cold scope

     as if on the edge of God's knife!

 

Would it be easier to die,

     to quit--to cease and never give

ourselves the means of knowing why?

     Hell comes to those who never live

and know, but just watch life passes by;--

     it's a peril we must survive!

Reviews

[Paper Forks]

I get the message. It's there. It's very right-into-your-face. The problem I have with this poem is the way you structured it. Every line's last word may rhyme, but they just don't coalesce. It feels forced and very hard to read. The rhythm is very jumpy and the flow of the entire piece was hindered by forced line breaks to form a 4 meter line. A thorough rewrite with focus on both the structure and flow would do wonders to this piece.